Rejected for Funding? Here's Why You Should Take It Personally

Do men and women approach startup funding differently?

I've been thinking about this question because over the last few months I've spoken at a couple of different business conferences where this exact issue came up. At the Perfect Business Summit in Las Vegas, I was the only female speaker, and at the Ladies Who Launch conference in NYC, I was one of many women. I went to panels on financing at both events and I kept hearing one point in particular: Women usually take it personally when they're rejected for funding.

I don't know if it's simply a stereotype or an actual fact, but I have to admit--it was true in my case.

I'd planned on funding YAS Fitness Centers myself when I opened in 2001. Unfortunately, the dot-com bubble burst right around that time and I was left flat broke. So I went to the bank and asked to borrow $400,000. They rejected the loan, stating I'd never owned a business before and my concept was new. In retrospect I understood the bank's position, but it still pissed me off. I almost yanked my account to go to another bank.

My next thought was a Small Business Administration (SBA) loan. I quickly learned that wasn't an option. The SBA loan process takes forever, if you can even get one. I'd already signed a lease. The clock was ticking.

So I did what many people do and turned to friends. But they all thought I was nuts trying to open a gym at 42 years old and no one would loan me money. Really? I couldn't even get my friends behind my idea? (Family wasn't a possibility because I grew up very poor.) I definitely "unfriended" a few people over that.

Then I got busy. When people tell me I can't do something, I have to prove them wrong.

I took out my credit cards, looked at my business plan to see where I could cut my budget, and I did bootstrapping -- on steroids. I fired my contractor and did the build-out of my first gym myself. Now, I have to say I understand why contractors get paid so much money. Doing the build-out myself and dealing with permitting was one of the harder things I've ever done. I had to move out of my house and into an apartment. I sold my car. I basically went back to living like I did in college, complete with the mac-and-cheese diet.

In retrospect, feeling personally rejected wasn't such a bad thing. Along the way, it forced me to keep refining and strengthening my pitch for my business. I became a better saleswoman. I could have become consumed with self pity. Instead, getting rejected motivated me to do everything necessary to get my business up and running. I knew I could do it; being forced to do so alone -- and not being beholden to anyone else -- gave me a huge amount of confidence.

Women, have you felt this way when you tried to start a company? Men, do you have a different view of financing your first business? I want to hear about it.