Watch CBS News

Quiz: Which Elevator Pitch Lead-in Works Best?

Let's see if you've been paying attention.

In response to the post "How to Write a Killer Elevator Pitch", a Sales Machine reader just sent me with three potential "lead-ins" to his elevator speech. I just wrote a fourth one.

Here's a poll. Pick which lead-in is best, then click the link below to see which one I wrote, and why I think it's superior.


CLICK for the correct answer »

The one I wrote (and the only one that's going to work) is #3. Here's why:

  • #1. We are an environmental consultancy focused on creating a competitive advantage for clients by maximizing resources and tapping into marketing and tax incentives. My comment: I have no idea what an "environmental consultancy" is, so that's wasted words. "Competitive advantage" and "maximizing resources" are just biz-blab. The only part that's worthwhile is "marketing and tax incentives" but even that isn't quantified, so I have no idea what it really means.
  • #2. We provide solutions for our clients to operate cost effectively and maximize market share. We operate in South Florida, Latin America and the Caribbean. My comment: Ugh. "We provide...market share" is a generic description of why B2B companies exist, so it's a big shrug. As for where you operate? Who gives a flying? And the whole thing says nothing about the client.
  • #3. We help firms reduce their environmental impact so they can more easily attract investors, recruit top employees, and avoid taxes and fines.
    My comment: This is the one I wrote. It explains in plain English what the firm does and exactly what the customer is supposed to get out of the relationship.
  • #4. We allow people, businesses and the environment to co-exist for the mutual benefit and advancement of all.
    My comment: Kumbaya, my lord... Kumbaya...
To tell the truth, guys, I'm getting a little scared at the examples that get sent to me. Maybe I'm just getting the most hopeless cases or (and here's what scares me), there is so much biz-blab out there that everyone actually thinks in those terms.
View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.