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Oprah Decides She's Just the One to Rescue the Oprah Network

Bad ratings have forced Oprah to name a new CEO of the Oprah Winfrey Network. And the new head honcho is... Oprah herself! How could it ever have been otherwise?

This is the least surprising hire since Dick Cheney picked Dick Cheney to be George Bush's running mate. What's really surprising is that there was ever anyone else in the job. Oprah replaces Peter Liguori, former Fox chief and current COO of Discovery, who had replaced Christina Norman a few months ago. Winfrey is "expanding her role as chairman of the network, also adding the role of chief creative officer." "Expanding her role" is a euphemism for "acknowledging reality."

Years ago, back when books still grew on trees, Steven King was said to be responsible for at least 50 percent of his publisher's profits. Because of this it was widely acknowledged that the most terrifying job in publishing was being Steven King's editor. You could do anything you wanted, as long as you didn't piss him off. That was the job description for being nominal head of OWN.

You're the boss -- sort of
Even though they were only on the job for a few months, both Liquori and Norman earned whatever enormous paychecks they got. How much must it have sucked to be stuck with the CEO title at Oprah's own network? You're not the CEO if you have to clear all the decisions first. But doubtless both knew what they were getting into. This was the only job in the world where one of the hiring perks is a job hunting service.

Now the burden falls publicly on the shoulders of Our Lady of Television. She has to take a network which is now just reruns of Dr. Phil and What Not to Wear and improve its ratings. That won't be too hard as pretty much anything she does will accomplish that.

Except hiring Keith Olbermann. Al Gore and Current TV tried that already and it hasn't worked.

Unless she makes that mistake she has created her own perfect scenario to ride in as her own white knight to solve her own problems. You go, girl.

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