Office Party Etiquette
The holiday season is here, and the annual office party is right around the corner. If the idea of mixing socially with your bosses and co-workers leaves you a bundle of nerves, then it's time for a quick etiquette lesson.
In the series, "Sticky Situation," The Early Show invites Erik Kolbell to answer a few of your questions when it comes to attending the office holiday party.
He is the author of "Lifescripts For Family And Friends: What To Say In 101 Of Life's Most Troubling And Uncomfortable Situations."
Kolbell calls these difficult situations "Lifescripts" and he has tactics on how to handle any given problem. The tactics involved are: Attitude, Preparation, Timing and Behavior along with a diagram on how to handle each level of the discussion.
Here are his answers to some common questions:
Q: If you're at a work party and your boss asks you to dance, should you?
A: If you have the least bit of insecurity as to how it will be interpreted either by your boss or by others, politely decline. I personally don't think it's a good idea. It blurs the lines of distinction for others and yourself. It's a professional relationship and should be kept that way.
How do you decline your boss- try to make humor out of it. You can say, "It's not you, the last person I danced with hasn't gotten the cast off. Tell him (if it's a him) you don't want to jeopardize your career path by stepping on his toes."
Q: At an office party how do you tell someone it's not polite to double dip their food?
A: Again, this is another opportunity to use humor to handle the situation. Tell them "the one thing your mother constantly harangued you about that did stick was the fact that no one needs to ingest your germs any more than you need to ingest theirs, so adhere to mom's one swoop per chip rule." Or you can say to say to them,'This really isn't hygienic, would you mind not double dipping; you may do it at home, but could you not do it here'".
Q: At the office party how far can touching go and being friendly because sometimes when people have a few drinks they become a little aggressive and maybe the other person doesn't appreciate it. This goes for both sides of the gender gaps.
A: An all-too-frequent problem. The standard answer is that it's gone too far when the person on the receiving end is uncomfortable with it. Two things worth keeping in mind on this one: First, you never touch someone, however innocently, if you don't feel permission has been given - be it tacit or overt. And second, drinking is no excuse for aggressive behavior. It's a coward's refuge. If you are being touched, then say to the person politely and gently: "This is uncomfortable for me, excuse" and walk away. It's important to walk away, so that the other person can process the information and save face.
Q: My office holiday party this year is a sit-down dinner affair with a cocktail hour before. Would it be appropriate to bring my son?
A: Chances are William wouldn't enjoy himself, so why subject him to it? I doubt the menu will include hot dogs and Tater Tots, nor will the conversation get around to "our favorite cartoon characters." Besides, there's always the old "What if everyone were to...?" maxim to follow. If the invitation does not say bring kids, you shouldn't. If you aren't sure, call and ask.
Q: How much should you drink at an office party with your co-workers?
A: A lot of those parties have alcohol. You run a risk by drinking at a party because you lower your inhibitions. The safest bet is not to drink at all. Set a limit for yourself beforehand because if you try to impose discipline on yourself while the party is in full swing you will find, with each glass of punch, that it is increasingly difficult to do so.