My Dog Ate My Excuse

Last Updated May 30, 2010 9:58 PM EDT

This blog post is a follow up from my last post about absenteeism which is costing Australian businesses mountains of money.

I thought it would be interesting to gather up some of the weirdest and wackiest reasons for not turning up for work. You just have to Google the subject and you're bombarded with a bunch of websites that have pages and pages on the subject.

I've listed a few below (some from other websites and some directly from my own experience). Did they actually happen? You be the judge.

  • I've locked myself in the house and I can't find the keys
  • I found an ant infestation in my house and sprayed too much Mortein and the fumes have made me sick
  • I can't walk because my feet got sunburned
  • A fly flew up my nose while I was asleep and now I have difficulty breathing and I feel dizzy
  • I'm going to be a couple of hours late because an elephant has escaped from the circus down the road and it's fallen asleep across my driveway
  • I haven't been sleeping well --- I have proof, my iPhone app "Sleep Cycle" shows that I didn't sleep
  • I'm a non-smoker but I had a nicotine overdose --- my brother thought it would be a good prank to put a nicotine patch on while I was asleep. I woke up vomiting and with cold sweats
  • A champagne bottle fell on my head
  • I'm on my way home because I got attacked by a street performer for giving him the wrong coin and trying to get it back
  • I burned my fingers and hair using my hair straightener this morning and I can't type
  • My dog chewed the alarm clock cord
  • I sneezed and threw my back out
  • I'm calling from the police station --- I sleepwalked into somebody's house and got in someone's bed
  • My dog peed on the stairs and I slipped
We'd also like you to tell us the wildest reasons for taking a day off you've ever heard. The best three responses (judged by our own BNET AU Panel) will receive a copy of Dale Carnegie's Leadership Mastery: How to Challenge Yourself and Others to Greatness, pubished by Simon & Schuster.
  • Melissa Lourenco

    Melissa is the HR manager for CBS Interactive (CBSi) in Australia. She graduated from the University of Sydney, majoring in Human Resource Management and prior to joining CBSi worked in a variety of generalist HR roles. When not wearing the HR/UN hat, she likes to curl up on the couch with her e-book, add/rearrange songs on her iPod, go to the movies and play the odd RPG on her PC. If you have questions or comments for Mel, send them to hr@cnet.com.au.