"Machete" Review: A Cutting Throwback to the '70s
By KARINA MITCHELL
NEW YORK (CBS) "Machete" is about as campy a film as it gets.
Spawning from a bogus trailer included in Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez' jocular double feature "Grindhouse" from a few years ago, this completely irreverent action-adventure spoof is a slightly elevated throwback to the shabby action flicks from '70s.
Devoid of any real character development or subtext, the film is a complete parody booby-trapped with over-the-top violence, blood and gore - racist and sexist to the extreme. It is so exploitative, one can't help throw up their hands, sit back and roll with the punches.
Danny Trejo is Machete, a knife-wielding ex-Federale whose wife and daughter are brutally slayed by his old nemesis and crime boss (Steven Seagal) within the first minute of the film.
Fast forward and Trejo is working as a lowly-paid day laborer without papers. He's picked up by a greedy businessman (Jeff Fahey) working together on the other side of the law with Robert DeNiro, a corrupt politician, out to seek re-election on wacky anti-immigration policy. Too woo voters, DeNiro rides together with Fahey and his henchmen, rounding up immigrants crossing the border and shoots them on site, then asks his crew if the killing has been caught on tape, as it will help rally votes.
They enlist Machete to be the patsy in a staged assassination attempt, but find they are messing with the wrong man. In a vendetta to avenge the murder of his wife and daughter Machete goes all out to track down the guy who set him up, and the senator and the crime boss who took down his family.
Trejo's scarred, gnarled face certainly breathes life into his tough guy character, but he really has nothing more than shootouts, and corny lines to work with throughout. Robert DeNiro provides so many laughs at his wimpy senator's expense, it is a treat to see him so over-the-top.
Jessica Alba helps forge her tough girl image, playing an altruistic border patrol cop who seeks justice and becomes Machete's main squeeze along the way.
Unfortunately, those who love a good comeback will be disappointed with Lindsay Lohan's performance. She plays Fahey's sexpot daughter, who spends much of her return to the big screen drugged up and in the buff. It will be hard for those who remember this actress as the cute, freckle-faced girl in "The Parent Trap" to ever look at her in that way again. However, on the flip side, it could do wonders for her burgeoning modeling career. She has a body that slams!
Overall this will have to go down as a B-movie, but taken in context, Machete still manages to serve up some intense action, along with some funny moments that will keep many smiling irreverently throughout - and you will get to see for yourself what all the Lilo hype is all about.