Letterman Back In The Saddle Again
What are the top ten good things about having shingles?
If you really want to know, you could always ask David Letterman, who returned to work Monday night after a month-long absence caused by a bout with the painful illness.
Letterman joked about the potential comedic effect of the high-powered pharmaceuticals prescribed for shingles, an infection of the nerve roots caused by the same virus that causes chicken pox.
"I've been in the house for like 30 days in a row," said Letterman, happy to be back onstage at the Ed Sullivan Theater. "You know you've spent too much time in the house when Dr. Phil starts making sense."
The "Late Show" host thanked his many guest hosts, with a video medley to the tune of "That's What Friends Are For," brought out mini-skirted nurses to applaud his dermatologist, and shared a tip on how he finally made it back to work.
"You know how they cure the shingles? Duct tape!" said Letterman, poking fun at recent recommendations by some that Americans should stockpile duct tape and plastic sheeting for defensive purposes in the event of a poison gas attack by terrorists.
A bizarre moment seemed to unfold as the funnyman prepared to regale his audience with a list of the Top Ten Good Things About Having Shingles.
He never got further than reason #10: nothing! which likened the ailment to a hot poker, and other unwelcome things that were bleeped out of the "Late Show" audio track.
Letterman's first show since Feb. 26 featured 18-year-old whistling champion Michael Barimo and comedian and actor Billy Crystal, who confessed that he, too, had a previous bout with shingles.
"This is what happens to us," said Crystal, who like Letterman is 55 years old. "Basically, as we become older, we become like the support beams for piers: strange things start growing on us."
Letterman's recent illness - for which rest is a major part of the treatment - is only the second time he's been absent from the talk show.
The first time, as fans well know, was his heart bypass operation several years ago, a big success which has led him from time to time to question guests on whether they have checked out their own hearts.
Any entertainers hoping to be asked to guest host for Letterman now are out of luck - he's back on the lineup for the foreseeable future.