How to Get your Man to Take Care of his Health
Many men in this country do not see a doctor when they need to despite the best efforts of the women who love them.
Men are statistically at higher risk of death and disease than women. Yet two 1999 studies found that they are much less likely to see a doctor or admit they may have health problems. Dr. Kenneth Goldberg, an urologist and author of the book "When the Man You Love Won't Take Care of His Health," has advice for women about how to get their men to take better care of themselves and seek health care when they need it.
Numerous surveys over the years have shown that men are notorious for denying the existence of their own health problems and avoiding health care, even when confronted with symptoms of serious illness like heart disease or cancer.
The warning signs a woman can watch out for with regard to their men avoiding good health or avoiding illness vary with the urgency of health problems. Some health problems can develop over time when bad habits catch up with you such as inactivity, smoking, excess alcohol and bad diet. But there are other warning signs that men are notorious for ignoring that require urgent medical attention. A woman should be alert for signs of blood in the urine or stool, chest pain, shortness of breath, fatigue, loss of weight, sores that don't heal, sleep apnea or interruptions in snoring or impotence.
The reasons for this avoidance lie partly in the typical male psyche. Many men have a fear of losing control over their environment and feel embarrassed if they cannot maintain an air of invincibility. The "bullet-proof man" is a macho mentality that doesn't want to admit anything can be wrong with him, and it can be a powerful form of denial. A survey last year found that over 50% of men with chest pain said they'd wait a week before seeking help and 33% of men with severe chest pain or shortness of breath said they would not seek help at all. Men really do think they're invincible.
Women can help by educating themselves about symptoms to watch out for that spell trouble, understanding the severity of different health problems, working together with their partners to create a mutual understanding of the problems and sharing the responsibility for health care.
Other tactics include appealing to the man's vanity. He will look better, feel better, perform better in good health. Contrasting the enhancements of a healthy lifestyle with the effects of illness if left untreated is quite a stark difference in many cases. If he already has an existing condition it can help to bond with other men in the same situation and help him accept his position. Support groups are available for many different ailments. If he is a father it may help to appeal to his role as a father figure and a healthy role model for his children.
It's important for a woman to recognize that each guy has his own hot buttons, she should know what some of her man's buttons are and utilize them to get him to wan to take care of himself. An "exercise man" might be more open to the argument that good health means good appearance, an "investment man" might be more receptive to the equation that a little regular health maintenance will pay big health dividends in the future, a "devoted Dad" will be more receptive to doing what he can to set a good example for the health of his children in the future.
How far should you go in pushing is related to how severe the problem is. Pushing too far too frequently on the quitting smoking issue could become tiresome with no immediate noticeable ill effects. It's hard to imagine if there is such a thing as pushing too hard if a man is having symptoms of a heart attack.
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