How To Cope With a Horrible Boss

As I've pointed out repeatedly, there is nothing certain in this world except for death, taxes and bad management. In this post, I explain exactly how to cope with the five worst types of bosses: tyrants, micromanagers, addicts, narcissists, and workaholics.

Click on the green NEXT button to see the first boss.

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• Step 1: Remember that you're not alone. This type of boss is easily the most common bad boss in the world. It's a sad truth about human nature that many people, when put in a position of authority, behave like bullies.
• Step 2: Don't take it personally. Whatever he says and does when he's upset has nothing to do with you. It has to do with his own inability to deal with frustration and his own lack of control. He suffers from a serious personality flaw. It's not you.
• Step 3: Find your center. When the boss is yelling at you, imagine that you're surrounded by an invisible force field. Nothing he says can actually penetrate it. Don't let his anger affect you, even if he's yelling in your face.
• Step 4: Notice the absurdity. People who are angry look really, really funny. Imagine your boss in a diaper crying like a baby. After all, he's acting just like toddler throwing a fit. How can you possibly take that red faced infant seriously?
• Step 5: Wait until the fit subsides. If you don't react, the idiot will eventually run himself out. It's important not to act either submissive or defensive. Just listen, impassively and objectively. Don't react to his emotions; listen to the content.
• Step 6: Address the issue. Somewhere in the fuss was an issue that probably needs addressing. Calmly address the issue, without reacting to the way the issue was delivered. This is how you handle a toddler who's throwing a fit.

• Step 1: Understand the dynamic. Micromanagement comes from one place, and one place alone. Fear. Your boss is afraid of screwing up, and is therefore afraid that you will screw up. As a result, she's trying to control everything.
• Step 2: Do a self-assessment. It's time for some self-honesty. Is your boss's fear justified... in your case? Are you, in truth, a bit of a screw-up or a goldbrick? If so, then change your attitude about your job... and your boss will eventually lighten up.
• Step 3: Create a reporting system. If you're sure the micromanagement is NOT justified, then your job is to allay your boss's unreasonable fears, as far as that's possible. Your first step is therefore to make sure your boss is informed about your progress.
• Step 4: Build detailed plans. You need to explain exactly what you're going to be doing, how you're going to do it, when you're going to do it, and how the boss will know it's done. The mere fact that you're doing this will help the boss relax a little.
• Step 5: Get the plan reviewed. You want the boss's micromanagement to focus on the plan -- not your activities. Asking for inputs on the plan creates the illusion of control, thereby giving you more freedom form oversight later.
• Step 6: Measure and report. Provide regular status reports as you achieve each step in the process. The more proactive that you are in doing this, the less the boss will feel that she needs to intervene and monitor your activities herself.

• Step 1: Confirm your suspicions. Many people who enjoy booze, drugs, gambling and sex are not addicted. The key element here is whether the "addiction" is getting in the way of the boss's ability to do his job. If so, he's an addict.
• Step 2: Assess the situation. If your boss is the CEO or if the entire upward management chain is similarly addicted, you really only have four choices: become an addict yourself, become an enabler, leave the company, or out the boss. The follows steps assume you've decided to out the boss.
• Step 3: Start keeping records. You'll need a record of every time the boss misses a meeting, shows up with alcohol on his breath, makes an inappropriate sexual remark, etc. Document the time, who was present, and exactly what happened.
• Step 4: Surface the issue. When you've compiled sufficient evidence that shows the pattern of addiction (i.e. like 10 incidents) go to the head of your HR group and surface the issue. Express your concern for the company and for the ability of the group to achieve its goals.
• Step 5: Prepare for disappointment. Chances are nothing will happen. However, there is a possibility that HR will intervene and either get the guy fired or into some kind of rehab program. Either way, you're still compromised, so...

• Step 1: Realize the truth. No matter how charming your boss can be, you are not real to him. You do not really exist, except insofar as you are feeding his narcissism. No matter what happens, you are no more important to him than a bug on the wall.
• Step 2: Decide what you want. Why are you working for this person? What are you learning? Where is it taking your career? If you can't come up with good answers to this question, then there's no reason for you to be working for him, in which case you should start looking for another job.
• Step 3: Observe the foibles. Since you've decided that it's worth your time and effort to remain, you need to study your boss and figure out what makes him feel good and loved and wanted. This will vary from person to person.
• Step 4: Feed the foibles. Whatever it is that makes your boss feel good, make it your job to provide it. Meanwhile, keep focused on what you're trying to accomplish, so that you can get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
• Step 5: Start looking. As soon as it's convenient, the narcissist will stab you in the back. Best you be ready with another job, before that happens.

• Step 1: Accept that you'll need to lie. Unless you really want to emulate the boss's lifestyle, you're going to have to pretend to do so. This will require you to be sparing with the truth.
• Step 2: Understand the challenge. Your goal will be to look busy all the time, while dodging assignments and projects.
• Step 3: Always look busy. Never go anywhere without holding a huge stack of papers. Walk quickly and purposefully, like you're on a mission, even when you're just going to the restroom.
• Step 4: Complain, complain, complain. When asked "how are you?" always roll your eyes and say something like: "I'm working my **s off." Sign yourself up to attend dozens of meetings, but be "too busy" to actually attend all of them.
• Step 5: Carve a personal life out of the slack. Since you're not overworked, you can wrap up your assignments quickly and then use the rest of the time to send emails, keep in touch with friends etc.
• Step 6: Use "working at home" as an excuse. Since you've convinced the boss that you're incredibly busy, she'll believe you when you say that you're working at home, even if you're just hanging out.