I have, over time, been cheated out of more millions of pounds than I care to think of. Because management is all gung-ho and success focused, there is remarkably little advice on how to deal with the really bad stuff when it comes along. Two reactions which I have experienced simply make things worse:
- Blaming the low-life who did it. This leads to a victim mentality and is useless. I have gradually discovered that if I have ever been a victim, then I am victim of my own folly. This is liberating: it means I am responsible for my own destiny.
- Mulling on misfortune. This is passive, negative and backward looking. It makes the whole world seem miserable. It is a total waste of life.
- Take responsibility. I assume that I got myself into the situation, so I can get myself out. Get on with it.
- Focus on what can be done, not on what can not be done. Even when everything seems out of control, there is always something you can do. It may be small, but do it. Create hope, create movement. Action is better than inaction.
- Learn from the past, don't dwell on it. By the time I got stiffed for the third time by being too trusting I started to learn about trust. It was very expensive learning: make the most of the investment.
- Focus on the future. A few times, I have had to start over from scratch. That is a brilliant opportunity to re-invent yourself, discover new skills and build a new life. Celebrate the past, learn from the past but do not live in the past.