Finding a Fitting Prom Dress
All around the country young girls are trying to find the perfect prom dress. But sometimes what they want isn't always what mom approves of, especially when many dresses this year sport exposed backs, cut out sides and skin-tight styles.
That's exactly the problem for moms like Laura Fagan, who told "The Early Show" she doesn't like styles that are too revealing for her 17-year-old daughter Cayce.
Fagan says, "You're beautiful, you're young, look it. Let's face it, we all get old. You don't want to look 35 when you're 17."
When Laura and Cayce hit the stores to find the perfect prom dress, the two found finding the perfect dress to suit both style and modesty is no easy task.
Cayce tried on a purple dress with three hole cutouts on the chest.
Laura said, "From the side, I can see her breast."
But Cayce disagreed, saying, "This is fine. I don't think it's too much."
However, Laura fired back, "You know what, I'm a mom. You know, that's kind of not OK with me."
Another dress featured a flowing pattern with an exposed back.
Laura said, "It's too low, and from the side, it's a little too revealing for my taste."
Mom also had her chance to pick out some styles she thought were suitable that featured less cleavae and more coverage.
Laura said, "I love this. She doesn't have to show everything."
But Cayce was repulsed by the choice.
"It looks like a curtain almost, like an old lady's house or something," she said.
"I think its gorgeous," Laura said.
Cayce replied, "For you, not for me."
As for other moms and daughters, Victoria Madkin, store manager of Camille La Vie, a special events clothier, said, "We do have moms and daughters coming in and battling over what's appropriate for them, normally the daughter does win just because the mom gets a little frustrated."
But what can moms do?
According to child psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, moms shouldn't give in. She said on "The Early Show" Monday that moms should speak to their daughters before they go to the store about what they can and can't wear to prom.
Hartstein said, "Ultimately you're the one with the credit card. You're the one paying for the dress. You get to say yes or no at the end of the day. So you want to come up with a plan."
She added, "When you go into the store without a plan, someone is going to lose and someone is going to be uncomfortable with the outcome. Have a dialogue about what the expectation will be. In negotiating, the idea is decreasing the conflict by increasing the communication, I call it collaborative problem solving."
To lower the pressure of prom, Hartstein recommends planning enough time prior to prom.
"Don't go the week before or else you will feel that pressure," she said. "If you're really noticing you're feeling anxious and angry perhaps you need to not buy the dress at that moment, leave the store and come back later. It will just lead to someone feeling bad about the outcome."
Hartstein said moms need to remember that they are ultimately doing what's best for their kid. At the same time the mom needs to be able to listen to her daughter's argument because maybe the mom isn't aware of what the trend is now.
"We forget to validate that the other person's view point is valid. It's important that all sides be heard," Hartstein said. "Why not treat a prom dress like you would treat a wedding dress, look at the magazine, have some looks picked out so that you're not surprised at the store and do this together."
And according to Teen Vogue's editor in chief Amy Astley, there are some sexy, yet classy prom dress alternatives that are sure to make mom and daughter both happy.
She shared these looks on "The Early Show":
BLUE GRECIAN MAX & CLEO DRESS, MAX & CLEO $178 - The dress has a more demure cut, but she's still showing the whole shoulder and arm area. It's free-flowing in the hips. Any time you get into the skin-tight dress category it can get into the inappropriate territory. It's still very bare up top but it's not inappropriately so. The cleavage is modest and thoughtful, the parents will not freak out when their daughter leaves in this. It's a long dress for a girl who wants to wear long to the prom. This is a nice way to wear a long dress. I think for parents those shiny dress materials with cut outs, that's something to watch out for.
ZAC POSEN FOR TARGET $70 - This is a dress that gives you a fun print. It does have a sexiness to it but it's more appropriate.
NECESSARY OBJECTS, $88 - It's an asymmetrical dress. There's a lot of bare skin up top but what keeps it from being inappropriate. It's got that little bubble skirt, so it's not clinging. It's also a little more forgiving to wear. Shoulders and arms are a nice part of the body to show off for girls.
LAUNDRY $325 - This gold dress features a gold metallic texture and built-in jewels around the neck and the bust. You don't even have to buy jewelry. And the back is very sexy and open. However, the dress is not so open that it doesn't cover the bust area and midriff. You have that back detail, you have a lot of leg, but it's an appropriate, pretty dress for a young girl to wear to a school event.