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Estimate your life expectancy -- change your life

(MoneyWatch) A fifty-something friend recently asked me to help her plan for retirement. My first piece of advice was to suggest that she estimate her life expectancy with an online life expectancy calculator, such as the one at or "The results will be eye-opening," I told her.

Because my friend's mother had died of cancer in her mid-fifties, my friend wasn't expecting to have a long retirement; she assumed her lifespan would be much like her mother's. After plugging in her data to one of the online calculators, she was shocked to learn that there was a good chance she'd live into her early 90s -- almost 40 years more than her mother -- in spite of her family history. Now she has a much different outlook on her rest-of-life and has to decide just how she wants to spend the next 40 years.

Our culture produces an expectation that retirement is a period of leisure, that you're done being productive and contributing to society, and that you're basically winding down. Well, 20, 30, or 40 years is a long time to wind down!

So what are you going to do for those 20 to 40 years of retirement? When you really think about it, playing golf, taking art classes, traveling, and playing bingo will probably get old after awhile. So during this first week of planning your rest-of-life, discuss your retirement hopes, dreams, fears, and concerns with your spouse, partner, family members, and close friends. Think about where you want to live, what you'll do, and who you'll want to see regularly.

Then think about the past 20, 30, or 40 years of your life. How much change has happened in your life, your family, and society in general? You should expect that much change in the future. You'll then realize it's not realistic to devise a plan that covers everything because so much will change that you'll have no control over. The best you can do is put yourself in a good position with your finances, health, and social contacts to help you deal with life's twists and turns. Be prepared for the ride!

Many people who go through this exercise end up rejecting the cultural expectation of retirement as a period of leisure and winding down. They realize that retirement is a chance to do something new with their lives and that they'll most likely continue working for pay in some manner in order to be able to afford it. Retirement offers a new opportunity to make conscious choices about where you'll live, work, and play, and what you'll spend your money on.

I take inspiration from my children who are entering the adult world -- landing their first jobs after college, getting married, and having children. They're bravely and enthusiastically facing a number of challenges and uncertainties.

While we also face challenges and uncertainties as we age, we are fortunate to have a lifetime of skills and resources to draw upon. It's well worth your time to tap into your experience and skills to plan this next phase of your life.

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