Chrissy Teigen has written a Medium post on what she calls her "old awful (awful, awful), tweets," saying she is apologizing to the people she insulted in her previous social media posts.
Several insensitive tweets recently resurfaced online, showing Teigen taking aim at Courtney Stodden, "Teen Mom" star Farrah Abraham and Lindsay Lohan in some of the old posts.
In one tweet, Teigen told Stodden, who married 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison at 16 and subsequently appeared on reality television shows, to take a "dirt nap." Stodden claimed Teigen also used to send the then-teenage Stodden direct messages. Stodden told The Daily Beast that Teigen once messaged: "I can't wait for you to die."
Last month, Teigen issued a public apology to Stodden on Twitter, saying she was "mortified and sad" at who she used to be when she wrote the tweets.
"I was an insecure, attention seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel," Teigen said, adding that she tried to privately connect with Stodden — who identifies as nonbinary and whose recent interrview touched on Hutchison's behavior in their relationship — and she hopes Stodden knows how sorry she is.
In the Medium post, Teigen said she is now in the process of privately reaching out to the other people she insulted.
"I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don't think I'd like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation)," she said. "But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs."
Teigen admitted she was a "troll" and her targets didn't need her horrible tweets. "Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor," she said.
She said used to have fun using social media, but in reality she was "insecure, immature and in a world where I thought I needed to impress strangers to be accepted."
"Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core," she said. Teigen goes on to say that she "grew up, got therapy, got married, had kids, got more therapy, experienced loss and pain, got more therapy and experienced more life. AND GOT MORE THERAPY."
"Life has made me more empathetic," she said. "I'm more understanding of what motivates trolling — the instant gratification that you get from lashing out and clapping back, throwing rocks at someone you think is invincible because they're famous. Also, I know now how it feels to be on the receiving end of incredible vitriol. Believe me, the irony of this is not lost on me."
Teigen, a model and cookbook author, has been known for her social media presence – even getting the Biden administration to follow her after President Joe Biden won the election, then asking them to unfollow her, "in order for me to flourish as me."
She vowed to delete her Twitter in March, writing: "This no longer serves me as positively as it serves me negatively, and I think that's the right time to call something." The mom of two returned to the platform less than a month later.
But after tweeting about her apology to Stodden in May, Teigen hadn't used Twitter at all. Instead, she turned to Medium, which she has used in recent past to write deeper posts about her life, including her devastating miscarriage last year.
Teigen said her husband, John Legend, often says how much their 5-year-old daughter, Luna, reminds him of Teigen. "Every day, I try to make sure she's all the best parts of me, all the things I aspire to be all the time, but fail at sometimes," Teigen wrote. "And we preach kindness to her and Miles every chance we get. Will they eventually realize there is some hypocrisy there? I certainly do. But I hope they recognize my evolution."