Chapman: I Don't Deserve Freedom

Mark David Chapman told a New York state parole panel last week that he didn't deserve to be freed from prison. The state division of parole has released a transcript of the board's interview with the man who killed John Lennon.

Chapman repeatedly told the three-member parole panel during a 50-minute interview on Oct. 3 at Attica state prison that "I don't even deserve to be here" - meaning alive - while Lennon is dead. He was denied parole.

As VH1's Rebecca Rankin reports for CBS News, Ono wrote a letter to the parole board which, due to the amount of media inquiries, she later recorded herself reading.

The letter outlined her reasons for wanting Chapman to stay behind bars. Ono didn't release the tape until after the decision by Attica State Parole Board had been made public.

Here is part of what she said:

"This is my reply to the petition of parole made by Mark David Chapman, from hereon called 'the subject.' It is not easy for me to write this letter to you since it is still painful for me to think of what happened that night and verbalize my thoughts logically.

"At first, I had refused to acknowledge John's death. I announced that, 'There is no funeral for John.' In my mind I was saying, 'Because he is not dead! Tell me he is not dead, tell me he is not dead.' I was screaming inside myself. I realized then that it was not a time for me to simply wallow in my own pain.

"Violence begets violence. If it is at all possible, I would like us not to create a situation which may bring further madness and tragedy to the world."

Chapman said he read comments by Ono over the summer in which she said she began shaking uncontrollably after he shot Lennon to death as the couple were about to enter their Manhattan apartment building in 1980.

"I think for the first time I really realized, you know, the pain that I caused," Chapman said. "I mean, here's a person that can't control their body, and that really hit home. ... I felt her pain then, and I can honestly say I didn't even want to feel it up until then. It's a horrible thing to, you know, realize what you've done."

In denying Chapman parole, the parole board criticized his continued need for publicity. In recent weeks Chapman has been quoted in newspapers and magazines around the country saying that John Lennon would probably forgive him, and that he's dreamt that Yoko Ono expresses her love to him.

During a 50-minute interview with Chapman, the board didn't buy any of it. It criticized his continued need for publicity. It called Chapman's killing of Lennon "calculated and unprovoked" and it described how he pumped four hollow-point bullets into Lennon's body with a .38 special revolver.

In addition to being one of the most famous musicians in the world, Lennon was also a "husband and a father of two young children," the board said.

"Your most vicious and violent act was apparently fueled by your need to be acknowledged," the parole board said. "During your parole hearing, this panel noted your continued interest in maintaining your notoriety."

Releasing Chapman at this time would "deprecate the seriousness of the crime and serve to undermine respect for the law," the board concluded.

Chapman, who is serving a 20-year-to-life sentence for murder, will be eligible for parole again in Oct. 2002.

©2000, CBS Worldwide Inc., All Rights Reserved. The Associated Press contributed to this report