Why a hedge fund?
Hedge funds are exclusive clubs. To even play, you must assert yourself to be an accredited investor. And, according to the SEC, being an accredited investor means that you either:
Earn an individual income of more than $200,000 per year, or a joint income of $300,000, in each of the last two years, and expect to reasonably maintain the same level of income.
Have a net worth exceeding $1 million, either individually or jointly with his or her spouse.
In addition, hedge funds typically have minimum investments of at least $250,000. Thus, imagine the joy the recipient of this gift will experience when they can drop the fact that they own a hedge fund. Guaranteed pride and instant respect.
Why the Max Tailwag'er hedge fund?
While data is scarce, it appears that most hedge funds do a better job of transferring wealth from investors to hedge fund managers. The Tailwg'er hedge fund, however, is led by a general partner, Max Tailwag'er, seen here with the plaque he received from the Consumers' Research Council of America. Note the Presidential like seal. In the year 2008 alone, Mr. Tailwag'er distinguished himself by making $99.3 billion more than the combined geniuses at AIG.
The differences - guarantees and transparency
Hedge funds rarely come with guarantees. That's one of the areas that set this fund apart from the others, in that it comes with a guarantee to perform as well as Bernie Madoff's sophisticated techniques.
Though few hedge funds are transparent, this one is. We fully disclose your money will be invested in ways to benefit the general partner.
So don't wait, if you act early, before December 15, we will throw in a second share for you, the gift giver. It may be more blessed to give than to receive, but it's even better to give and receive.
A serious lesson in this post
Meir Statman, finance professor at Santa Clara University, notes that investors want high status and proper respect, perhaps even more so than economic gain. He explores this in his new book, What Investors Really Want.
The economic case against hedge funds is compelling. If not for irrational investors, I suspect they would only exist for very large institutions investing at very low costs. Hedge funds may make little economic sense, but they actually do provide more than status and respect. They provide the illusion of high returns with little risk. Unfortunately, the emotional well being that illusion brings may be short-lived.
So dial 1-800-RESPECT and be sure to mention the special offer code "Accredited Investor."
More on MoneyWatch
Hedge Funds - A Disastrous Year for the Top Ten
Hedge Funds of Funds - Do They Work? Part 3 on Hedge Funds
Hedge Funds - Case Against, Part 2
Hedge Funds - The Case for Using Them, Part 1