Watch CBS News

Horrible Horoscopes: Pisces

By Mason Johnson

Warning: If you love astrology, are offended easily, or/and have no sense of humor, this might make you gassy (and angry). Not your sign? Find more Horrible Horoscopes here.

Justices Breyer And Scalia Testify At House Hearing
Keep tryin', buddy. You'll reach your nose with that tongue someday. (Credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)


What's the "golden rule," Pisces?

No, it's not "blame the cat for your farts."

It's simple: "Treat people the way you want to be treated."

Do you want to be treated like a second-class citizen, Pisces? Would you like to be discriminated against because of your sexual preference? Would you like to be told by the government that you can't marry the person you love?


Then don't treat others that way.

It's not too late, you know! You can still make the right decision – the decision to treat everyone with respect. It's what the stars think you should do. It's what the Moon wants.

Now is not the time for cowardice.

Seriously, Pisces, do the right thing, and the Moon just might buy you a drink at Berlin tomorrow night. If that doesn't convince you, nothing will.

Mason Johnson knows absolutely nothing about astrology, but he can tell right from wrong when it comes to equality. Follow his extremely inappropriate and unintelligent twitter here.

View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.