Georgia dad become a doula to support wife during pregnancy: "It really equipped me"

Back in 2022, Alonzo Kirkman and his wife, Brianca, were basking in the joy of their growing baby boy, whom they would name Brayden. But the glow captured in maternity pictures turned dim during delivery.

In the midst of several complications, Brianca began hemorrhaging. She was in excruciating pain and couldn't communicate, leaving Alonzo not knowing what to do or say.

"What was supposed to be a joyous process, it really was a lot of turmoil at times, and honestly, there were some dark moments during that entire pregnancy journey," Alonzo Kirkman said. "As a man, you want to be able to support your wife, but I just didn't have the tools to do so."

Brayden was born healthy and happy, but the Marietta father vowed to never repeat the despair he felt during those uncertain moments. With their second child due in June, Alonzo wanted to have his wife's back, so he enrolled in the Dads to Doulas online course.

The program, which operates under the Dear Fathers media platform, was originally founded by Brad Edwards after he suffered the heartbreaking loss of twin boys during pregnancy.

Kirkman was part of a summer cohort alongside other Atlanta fathers. The six-week course offers in-person and online classes teaching men about pregnancy, labor, and the delivery process. Participants learn medical terminology and receive hands-on training using birthing tools so they can actively support their partners.

"So, we are in a crisis. And when you look at Black women, they are three, sometimes four, sometimes five times more likely to experience maternal mortality. That's not even counting what's going on with maternal morbidity, with these lifelong issues that women have," said Kyra Betts, the lead facilitator working with Alonzo Kirkman.

Demand for the Dads to Doulas training has surged, Betts said, with the last online cohort having a waiting list of 400 men.

For Kirkman, the training made all the difference in how he prepared to advocate for his family while his wife Briance was pregnant with their second child.

"It's really equipped me to have the words that I need in order to talk to the medical staff for the new baby that we have on the way," Kirkman said.

Coffee table conversations for the Kirkmans became focused on upcoming doctor's appointments and addressing any concerns before their visit. Ahead of the delivery, baby Aloni's first outfit was picked out, mom's bag was packed, and dad was fully equipped with the birthing plan and prepared for all scenarios.

Baby Aloni arrived six weeks early and had to spend time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. During that critical period, Kirkman says the doula training proved to be a lifeline.

"Being able to just get that education and learn those different things really helped when it came time for us being in the hospital for an extended amount of time. When they are talking, I'm like, ' Hey, I learned this in class.' And it just helped me have confidence," Kirkman said.

That confidence provided the blanket of protection his wife needed.

"It really made me feel seen and loved because I was really scared the second time around after what we endured with my son. It made me feel safe," Brianca Kirkman said.

In addition to an abundance of love, this dad is now armed with knowledge.