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Atlanta nonprofit Kate's Club helps children cope with grief after losing parents, siblings

This time of year can be especially painful for families coping with loss, and for children, that grief can begin far too early.

In Georgia, one in 10 children will lose a parent, sibling or primary caregiver before turning 18. For many of them, help comes from Kate's Club, an Atlanta-based nonprofit that supports children and families learning how to live with loss.

They are some of the smallest mourners; children just learning to write, speak, and understand the world around them, sometimes before they even learn how to ride a bike. Many are so young they use drawings to express what words cannot: the loss of a mother, father or sibling.

"His name was Deondre," Anthony Rolland said. "He was very funny. He was tall, 6-foot-5."

Anthony was just 5 years old when his older brother, Deondre, was killed in a shooting. Now 15, Anthony says the bond they shared is something he still carries with him.

"Me and him just always used to, like, play with each other," Anthony said. "We just had great bonding together."

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A family photo of Anthony with his mom, Deatrice Stroud, and older brother Deondre.  Photo courtesy of the family

Kate's Club was founded in 2003 by Kate Atwood, who lost her mother, Audrey, to cancer when she was 12 years old. Since then, more than 15,000 children have found support through the organization, which helps them take their first steps through grief.

"Developmentally, until about 7, a lot of children won't really realize that death is permanent," said Lane Pease, the club's director of education.

Research shows children who lose a parent are five times more likely to develop a psychiatric disorder. Because of that, Kate's Club offers long-term support, recognizing that grief does not follow a set timeline.

"I don't believe in the word closure," Pease said. "I don't think they can start the healing process till later. With homicide, death, there's many things, and it can drag on for years."

Anthony's mother, Deatrice Stroud, said the loss of her son was overwhelming, and that Kate's Club helped her family find a way to talk openly about their pain.

"It was the most excruciating pain that you could ever experience," Stroud said. "It's not the natural order. You don't think your children will go before you, and when they're taken due to violence, it's horrible because you have to deal with the law."

The mission at Kate's Club is to bring grief out of the shadows, to replace isolation with compassion, connection, and understanding.

"I started getting good grades," Anthony said. "I started becoming, like, a better person."

For families dealing with loss, Kate's Club aims to show that grief doesn't have to be faced alone, and that healing, though slow, is possible.

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