The Session

Sue Stevens Finds What She Is Looking For

Sue Stevens, single mother of three, was on a personal pilgrimage in northern California. "It's going to be painful, it's going to be confronting a lot of stuff for the first time - stuff I've been running from."

And the drug ecstasy, she believed, was going to help her confront the grief she'd felt for the past year since the death of her fiance, Shane Stevens.

An unlicensed therapist, operating secretly in a remote area, treated Sue with ecstasy over the span of two days. "What ecstasy does is it...connects Sue with something deeper than what everyday therapy connects with," said the therapist, who chose not to be identified. "This is like doing five years of therapy in one afternoon."

Soon after taking the drug, Sue began feeling the familiar effects.

During the therapy, Sue became convinced that Shane was with her - as he had been in her previous ecstasy sessions: "Honestly, I have never felt him here so strongly."

What Sue claimed to be experiencing has never been proven scientifically. And some suggest Sue was feeling at peace because the drug affects the levels of serotonin, the same brain chemical targeted by anti-depressants like Prozac.

But it seemed Sue achieved the closure she was seeking in her relationship with Shane. "I've been so caught up with everything going on with him, not wanting to let this go, it's been holding me there," she said while still under the influence of the drug. "So I know it was actually right to let him go."

After the session, Sue was content with the results. She said the ecstasy was essential to the process because "it helped me open up inside of me and listen to what I found. Not only see everything that was inside of me, but to actually hear it, feel it, and know what was right."

When asked if she would ever use ecstasy in the future, she answered, "I know I will."

Ecstasy: Main Page