Rogue Preschoolers?

According to a recent Yale University study, preschoolers are being expelled at a surprisingly high rate these days. What kind of offenses are they guilty of? Excessive drooling? Poor balance? Mispronouncing their "R's?"

Actually, the most frequent grounds for expulsion include kicking, biting, and hair pulling. While I agree that preschoolers should not be allowed to do these things at school, I think that it's possible for them to be taught not to. In fact, I'm positive of it. Otherwise, most of the adults that you and I hang out with would still spend a lot of their time kicking, biting, and pulling hair. And unless you're either a professional wrestler or a local politician, that's unlikely.

In fact, isn't teaching preschoolers how to behave one of the important functions of preschool? They don't have to learn how to read or do multiplication before they start kindergarten. But it would be nice if they learned how to respect their teachers and fellow students. And I doubt that a three-year-old will "learn his lesson" by getting booted out of school.

And think of the kid's parents. In some communities, getting into the preschool of choice is just slightly harder than getting into Harvard. Parents do research on the schools. They kiss up to those who run them. Sometimes, they make generous donations to ensure that little Mikey has a good spot in the sandbox. When their kid is accepted, they believe that he or she is on the right track — the right track to the right elementary school, and eventually the right university, and the right profession. The parents celebrate the kid's acceptance at the right country club. Can you imagine how these parents react when they're told their kid can't come back to preschool because he kicked some kid who was hogging the Play-Doh?

Some of these parents are going to think it's all over for their kid because he got ejected from "Tiny Tots" or the "Early Education and Cultural Center for Socialization and Finger Painting."
I hope these parents will be wise enough to avoid telling their children, "They kicked you out because you're a bad kid." Instead, they probably say something like, "It just wasn't the right school for you. We found you a better one ... way on the other side of town." But kids are smart, so they'll know something's wrong.

Education experts don't feel that kids have suddenly discovered misbehaving. They say there is just not enough money being spent on training teachers, psychologists, and social workers. This is a shame, of course, since recent research suggests how important preschool can be. I hope more and more places find the money so kids can learn how to behave in schools instead of being kicked out of them. I also hope this trend comes to an end soon, so kids won't be branded for life by the experience.

Back when I was in elementary school, I was, well, asked not to continue in my public school for a while. And I was told that my dismissal would be written down on something that was supposed to frighten every child: my "Permanent Record." I never believed in the specter of the Permanent Record, but in today's information age, it might not be so far from the truth. I'm sure there is some Web site you could go to that could help you learn how I offended Mrs. Dunbar in the fifth grade. (If you do find out, please let me know.)

So I worry that these kids aren't just going to switch to another school and everyone will forget about their little misadventure. Nothing can be kept secret today. So, even though you may agree with getting rid of that kid who made your daughter cry today, what about 40 years from now? You don't really want some Senator to stand up and say, "I'm sorry, but I cannot support the nomination of Amanda Thompson for Supreme Court justice. Let's face it. Once a hair puller, always a hair puller."