Par for the Course

My boss is a golf fanatic. During the warmer months, he'll sneak out of work early once or twice a week and take a bunch of the guys from the office with him to the local links
Because I don't golf, I never get asked to go with them. Yet I don't think it's fair that my colleagues get out of work to go play while the rest of us, mostly women, have to stay behind in the office. Where's the line?
Being the boss has a few perks. OK, it has a lot of perks. One of them is getting to sneak off to the links before the closing bell. On the list of managerial abuses, this would probably be way down.

The main problem here is that you are not included in the golf trips, which makes you view them as a labor injustice, as well as a bit of a gender injustice. As I've said before: the feeling of injustice, whether real or simply perceived, is an office poison.

To fix this feeling, you have three options. You can complain and force these golf excursions to halt; you can ask for an equal playtime outlet for the non-golfers; or you can join in.

The first option is bad. You don't want to be that person.

The second option is mostly good, but it has some problems. One problem is that it will make the golf outings "official," which means they must be tracked and logged and subject to rules, etc. You'll suck much of the fun and spontaneity out of it for the golfers, which will put you, in their minds, close to the person from option one, which you don't want to be.

I'd go with the final option: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

This probably sounds ludicrous to you as a non-golfer. But I'm going to bet your jealousy has a lot to do with a feeling of exclusion. You're not in the boys' club and you want to know what they do out there, what they talk about, why on earth anyone could enjoy hitting a little white ball around for five hours. And you're probably more than a bit jealous that they get in good with your boss in a non-office environment. So, next time they are getting ready to leave, ask if you can tag along.

You don't have to play golf to go golfing. If, as Mark Twain once said, "golf is a good walk spoiled," then just go along for the walk. Or drive the cart. Or maybe even swing a club or two. You'd be surprised at how little of golf involves actually hitting a ball.

I say none of this because I'm trying to convert you into a golfer. I say this because I want you to realize what actually happens on a golf course. If you think your boss and your colleagues leave work behind when they hit the links, you're mistaken.

Either way, you need to try it a few times. If you don't like it, and still have all of the same feelings you had before you made the attempt, then you can ask for a similar outlet for the non-golfers without sounding like a whiner.

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