Happy Week: Maintaining Relationships

Stress on the job - or stress from not having a job - can put strain on relationships. Mary Jo Rapini, a Psychotherapist, discusses keeping relationships healthy during tough times.

In order to understand where stress at home is coming from, you need to understand that males and females relate to money differently. "Money is symbolic, and for men, it's a symbol of them being in control, of them being able to provide for their family... It helps men feel good about themselves," says Rapini. When it comes to women, "We're secure, we feel taken care of. It makes us feel like our partner really loves us when they're a good provider," says Rapini. When there isn't enough money to go around and families are living paycheck to paycheck, people in relationships feel stress because the symbolism that money had is gone.

No matter how stressful things get, don't panic. Drastic moves - like draining your savings account or selling all your stocks - can backfire in the long run. "As a couple, start looking at [the problem] together. Don't put blame on your spouse," says Rapini. "Start thinking what you could cut back on." Work as a team to come up with a realistic budget and stick to it. "When you have teamwork, it embraces the marriage," says Rapini.

Don't cut back too much, though. Set realistic goals. If you tell your partner to never buy anything unless they truly need it, Rapini says the goal is too drastic. You're setting yourself up for failure and the guilt that may follow. Instead, "If you say, every week, we're going to give up one thing that we don't really need, and then we'll treat ourselves every month with something small... the couple is a team and they're working together for the good of the relationship," says Rapini. Team work builds intimacy, which strengthens a couple's bond.

Find comfort in each other and practice spirituality together. Even interfaith couples can be spiritual. "What a couple should do... is they should look around and try to help [others]," says Rapini. She says spirituality is about helping other people; that notion doesn't have to be tied to a specific religion. By helping others, you'll be taking the focus off of your own problems and working together at the same time.

By Erin Petrun