Getting Dad To Pitch In

Adding to the stress of a having a new baby in the home is often the friction between new moms and dads over their new roles and the ever-touchy subject of the division of labor. So moms how much help should dad be kicking in around the house? That issue is discussed at length in this month's issue of American Baby magazine. Managing Editor, Kate Kelly, offers some insight on the topic.

AmericanBaby.com did an online poll, asking women in what area would they like dad to help out more in. 61% said they would like more help doing housework, where only 39% answered with child care. "I wasn't that surprised because that's probably how I was answer the poll myself," Kelly said.

In order to help even out the distribution of housework, American Baby offers some strategies. Firstly, mothers should make their expectations clear. It's good to remember your husband is not a mind reader. "While it might be clear to you that your husband is not pulling his weight, he's probably not comparing to what you do," says Kelly. "he's probably probably comparing to what his dad did or what his friends do."

It's also best to relinquish control. Women really want housework tasks to be down their way. But in order to get the help you would like, you need to allow your husband to do it his way. It may not be perfect, but you should just step out of the way. And if he does something wrong, he'll figure it out.

You should also not be a martyr. "Don't wait around for him to say, Honey, you need a break, you work so hard, you need an afternoon off," said Kelly You need to announce when you have had enough and say you are going out for coffee with a friend. This way, you're husband will be able to bond with your child and do some housework without you hovering around.

Don't forget to value what he does. Every thing counts. If he takes the kids out to the store for two hours it should count for a lot. It may not be cleaning the bathroom, but it gave you two hours to yourself to do what you need or want to do.

Finally, be realistic. "You may never get 50-50 and you can't be resentful or you're just gonna eat your heart out," Kelly warns. "So be happy with what he does, do whatever you can, and then let things go." And remember communication is the key.

For more information on getting dad to pitch in, as well as other parenting advice, click here to visit the American Baby website.
by Jenn Eaker