Diffusing Fights

Fighting between siblings is a natural part of childhood, but these arguments can be stressful on parents. Tricia O'Brien, Features Editor of American Baby Magazine, has some advice for keeping your household calm.

Fighting isn't all bad. In fact, there is an upside. "When kids fight, it teaches them... how to resolve conflict, how to compromise," says O'Brien. "Those are skills that they can use later in life."

Incessant fighting can drive any parent crazy, though. "One thing that really works is setting a timer," says O'Brien. "Kids don't have a concrete sense of time. To them, two minutes seems like forever." Keep an egg timer handy. When a fight erupts over a toy, set the timer for a few minutes while one child plays. When the timer goes off, it's the other child's turn to use the toy. The same rule can apply for television shows or video games. The timer shows that each child is getting equal time.

Kids fight over time with you, too. Many fights - like a seat at the dinner table - are about getting attention. It's important to spend quality one-on-one time with each child. This is especially important after you bring home a newborn. Spending time with your older children shows that your love for them hasn't changed.

Distractions can dissolve fights too. "You want to take their mind off what's going on with the fight and put it to something more fun," says O'Brien. Take your children outside to play or tell some jokes. If you child loves to read, suggest story time. If your child is artistic, find their favorite coloring book or some finger paints. "Voila! They forget about the fight," says O'Brien.

Separating your children can help as well. "Especially with really really young kids, they often don't even know what they're fighting about," says O'Brien. "You just want to diffuse the situation. Often times, when you threaten to split them up, they want to be back together again."

Finally, avoid fighting triggers. "You want to avoid things like hunger, exhaustion," says O'Brien. "These can be major triggers for meltdowns, so try to stick to a regular nap and snack schedule." If your child is cranky or hungry, they're more likely to pick a fight.

For more information on diffusing fights, visit www.AmericanBaby.com by clicking here.

By Erin Petrun