Column: Barack Obama, Read This Advice Column

This story was written by Jeffrey Riley, Central Florida Future

I highly doubt that the newly crowned presidential nominee, Barack Obama, will read this newspaper. Even less likely is the chance he will read this specific issue, or even turn to the back of the paper and read this column.

But if he does, I have a message:

Sen. Obama, please, for the love of all that is holy, don't pick Hillary Clinton as a vice president.

This has less to do with Clinton herself. She didn't perform all that poorly in the primary race.

If you look past the early loss in Iowa, the lies about sniper fire, the reminders of past political assassinations and the annoying "3 a.m. phone call" advertisements starring eight-year-old stock footage of a child actor who actually supports Obama now, it was not so bad.

Oh wait, no, her campaign went exactly opposite of how a good campaign goes. She planned for a quick knockout and as soon as the fight dragged into the ground she lost all spark.

Political analysts were calling for her to drop the race around the time she was expecting herself to win. She is still not even out yet, having the perseverance of that Iraqi minister of intelligence guy who promised that no American troops were in Baghdad in 2001.

Barack, old buddy, you don't want Clinton as a vice president. Who you want is Gov. Bill Richardson from New Mexico.

Of all the potential politicians, he is your best choice.

Look at what Richardson has to offer by first looking at the things people say about you.

The loudest complaint is your lack of age and experience. Well then, in contrast, you have Bill Richardson's lifelong career in politics. The man has held multiple offices, including being the Secretary of Energy, which is pretty useful in the days of rising fuel costs and concerns over dirty fuel.

His foreign relations experience is a benefit, too. He served as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations as well, which helps your lack of overseas ability.

Obama, you don't have to pick Richardson if you don't want to. There are more fish in the sea, even if some of them have been caught before.

John Edwards is also a possibility. He is likeable enough. And he comes with the distinct advantage of having all his dirty laundry out in the open, having gone through a presidential election before.

Of course there is the risk of him being seen as political used goods. The badge of losing an election is a hard one to wear, and not many people have successfully had the ability to remove it.

There would be a distinct difference this time, seeing that he would be running with someone with a personality threshold higher than wet Saltine crackers.

You have a whole lot of options out there, Obama. There are plenty of moderate and experienced Democrats to choose from.

I am no expert, but it would probably be in your best interest to pick someone who actually understands the idea of planning more than a month into a campaign.