Bradley Laborman doesn't. For a small fee, he'll end the relationship for you with one phone call.
Laborman, of Mount Pleasant, Iowa, has made dumping a profession. Since last fall, the 35-year-old has been on a dumping spree. His website, IDump4U.com has been a hot spot for people looking to break things off with a significant other, but who want to avoid the entire dumping conversation.
It's just $10 to end a "basic" dating relationship, but the price goes up as the relationship progresses. Engagement dumps, for example, cost $25. A divorce dump will set you back $50.
The catch? Laborman assures there is none - except that the audio recording of his call to the person you want to dump may be posted on YouTube.
So has someone really asked for Laborman to break the news of a divorce?
Laborman says he hasn't had any divorce dumps yet, probably because of the legal aspects of formal separation. However, he can barely keep up with the demand for boyfriend and girlfriend break-ups, going through a stream of e-mails every day, each with a laundry list of done-me-wrongs and specific grievances that Laborman can use in his call.
Not all requests are real. Laborman says he spends part of his day weeding out the fakes. He says he can tell a real dump from a fake one by the extravagant stories they tell -- and if they skip payment.
However, IDump4U.com still features a wide range of dump-call situations. Laborman classifies them by sexual orientation, gender and call content, such as "Cry," "Hilarious" and "Psycho."
If a call can offer a lesson about the dating experience, Laborman says he's going to post it.
The break-up between Lena and Jeff, for example, is one of Laborman's latest posts.
Lena is told by "Bradley from IDump4U.com" that her boyfriend Jeff wants to dump her because she is spending too much time on schoolwork. Laborman also tells Lena that Jeff's now dating Lena's roommate, Robin. Lena, like many people being dumped by Laborman , refuses to believe the story for most of the call. But it soon sinks in when Lena learns from Laborman that her roommate has moved out.
Lena looks through Robin's room to refute his claim and she realizes that her roommate has indeed moved out.
"All of her (stuff) is gone," Lena says in wonderment.
Laborman replies, "Yes, that's right, exactly correct. You have finally hit the nail on the head."
Lena says, "Her closet is empty. That (girl) has some of my clothes."
Laborman quips, "She also has some of your boyfriend, do you realize that?"
Though Laborman sometimes has to shout to get his point across to the person being dumped, he assured us that he's "not a total jackass."
"I'm not a horrible person like people think I am."
Laborman, who estimates he makes $10 an hour or less with the business, says he is not th eonly one getting rewards. Dump calls can teach others a lot people about relationships.
Some listeners, Laborman says, realize that they have relationships like the ones on a call and understand they need to change their behavior. "I think it's educational. ... It's a learning experience for everyone." Laborman said in a recent phone interview.
Laborman, who gave up "beating around the bush" for Lent last year, says many of the people just need to get a reality check.
"Somebody just needs to be straight-forward with them."
But is he too harsh with his break-ups? Some calls feature back-and-forth arguments that can sometimes get ugly.
Laborman explained, "I go into every call the same way. I'm going to give this person the benefit of the doubt."
But if the caller is rude to him, he says he's rude right back.
Laborman says he's also offended when people who have allegedly cheated on their girlfriends and boyfriends or done other misdeeds compare his behavior to theirs.
For more on Laborman's service, go to Page 2.
He said, referring to some of the people he dumps, "'You browse on the Internet for 15-year-old girls, and you're calling me a slimeball?'"
Laborman added, "If you're going to get mad at someone, first get mad at the dumper."
The anger makes for great online listening, though. And Laborman acknowledges this fact. Each of his YouTube videos has thousands of hits and comments.
"It's for entertainment," Laborman said. "It's for a joke. I'm not trying to be malicious with anyone."
But how do people being dumped feel about having their most vulnerable moments being broadcast on YouTube?
Laborman says he doesn't get much feedback from the people he dumps. But he assured CBS News that if someone did have a problem with their dump call being broadcast on YouTube, he would take it down immediately.
Laborman says he "dumps" only in states where it's legal to tape conversations with just one party's - Laborman's - approval. He also doesn't do dumps in his home state.
"I don't dump anyone in Iowa because I don't want to wake up with a knife in my face," jokes Laborman, who claims he lives in a rural Iowa town of 9,000.
"I guess they would have to be really desperate. ... They're really gonna have to (travel) to find me. I'm really going to have to give them credit if they come after me, like, 'Kudos to you.'"
Laborman also keeps his day job a secret because of an agreement with his employer.
But dumping, which he considers a hobby, isn't worrisome for Laborman.
"If I sit around and worry about what I'm doing, then I shouldm't be doing what I'm doing."
As for the future of IDump4U.com, Laborman says he wants to write a book and he says a New York production company is already considering his website's concept for a reality show.
But is it all too good to be true?
IDump4U.com was recently featured on Jezebel.com. In the post, writer Katy Kelleher tries out the service to see if she can dump herself. The post ends by saying that she was not contacted by Laborman.
Many hours later, she added, "It's been hours, and I have yet to hear from him."
Kelleher told CBS News she was eventually contacted by Laborman about the dump. Jezebel.com didn't update the story, nor write a new post as of this posting.
Kelleher said she wasn't actually dumped by Laborman (Laborman says because it was a fake.) Kelleher said in an e-mail he did offer her a refund. She didn't take it.
But that's more than most fakes get. IDump4U.com doesn't refund fake break-up applications.
The application reads, "If you are found to be a fake breakup or not the person who is the real dumper, we would like to thank you for your donation to us."
Laborman kept Kelleher's $10 -- another donation to his continued service to the dumpers of the world.
By AMANDA COCHRAN