Boomers' Aging Anxiety

GENERIC: Getting Older, Aging, Age, Baby Boomers, Name tag
Publishers are coming to the rescue of baby boomers who are having trouble reading the small print of mass market paperbacks. Simon & Schuster's Jack Romanos says, "We've been losing the foundation of our customer base because their eyesight is getting worse, and the books are getting harder and harder to read." So they are printing new paperbacks in a bigger size with larger type and more space between lines. These aren't to be confused with the "large print" version of books. These new books will still fit on the same shelf at the airport store, so boomers will be able to buy them without feeling that there is a sign on their foreheads that reads, "Getting Old."

I hope that phone book publishers figure out how to do the same thing without making the Yellow Pages weigh three hundred pounds. It's also time for watchmakers to make those numbers legible. I'm not sure if I really want restaurant checks to be more readable, but that doesn't seem like it would be too difficult a task.

Eyesight is only one thing that changes as people get older. It would be nice if there were special showings of movies for people who are starting to be "hearing challenged." If the volume were turned up a bit, then other people in the theater wouldn't be constantly subjected to hearing things like, "What did she say?"

They could build special movie theaters for Boomers and Beyond. They would be long and narrow so that all the seats are on the aisle. That way, nobody would be disturbed when you have to go to the bathroom. The audio portion of the movie should be piped into the restroom, so that when you return to your seat, you don't have to shout, "So, what did I miss?"