Banned In The U.K.

This is a tale of bureaucracy gone mad ... and a warning to us all.

Remember those three wise men who followed the star and brought gold, frankincense and myrrh to the infant Jesus? Well, here in Britain, the Church of England now reckons these guys weren't wise, probably didn't follow a star, and might have been … women!

So the whole prayer book is urgently being redrafted just to make sure they don't offend feminists. If you think that's daft – well just before Christmas, in the town of High Wycombe, not far from London, a group of singers wanted to advertise their carol concert. But they weren't allowed to – for fear of upsetting local Muslims.

There's a bowling club in leafy Surrey, deep in the English countryside, where dedicated sportsmen in white suits spin traditional wooden bowls on manicured turf. They used to give lessons to schoolchildren. Now it's banned. Someone thought those men in white suits might be up to no good!

In the beautiful city of Bath, open air hog-roasts were a real speciality. Not any more. Banned again. Apparently animal rights activists wouldn't like it.

Up in Scotland, you can't take a camcorder and film your own child in the school play. They've banned personal videos lest the tapes should ever fall into the hands of paedophiles.

And on the quaint sidewalks of the beautiful town of Bury St Edmunds, they've banned hanging baskets of flowers, suspended from lamp posts in the streets – the council was worried in case one should ever fall down.

Now as far as I know, the feminists haven't complained about the wise men, the Muslims weren't asked about the carol concert, the animal rights activists never made a fuss about hog roasts, and not a single videotape of a school concert ever fell into the wicked hands of a paedophile. And so what if a basket of flowers hits you on the head? It's your fault for walking underneath it.

But with the onset of American style litigation, and the fashion for American style political correctness, this once free country is turning into the land of the banned.

Thanks a bunch guys!
By Ed Boyle