Annoying Co-Workers: A Field Guide
To have a successful sales career, you need to deal effectively with co-workers. This is usually easy since sales pros are usually good with people. However, there are some species of co-worker that require special handling. To help you deal with these problematic varieties, I've collected a list of the most common irritating co-workers, along with advice on how to cope with them.
Click for the first annoying co-worker »
READERS: Please add a comment if there's an annoying type that I've missed!
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The Narcissist
- Characteristics: Considers everything from the viewpoint of how it affects her.
- Quote: "But enough about me; what do YOU think about me?"
- Plumage: The most expensive suit of anyone at her level.
- Warning: You do not really exist in her world.
- Cultural Archetype: Miranda Priestly
- Care and Feeding: Position anything you want and need her to do as something that will make her look good.
The Droner
- Characteristics: Has some kind of comment or anecdote on absolutely everything.
- Quote: "That reminds me of the time when we..."
- Plumage: A comfortable sport coat.
- Cultural Archetype: Peterman
- Warning: You will be bored out of your mind.
- Care and Feeding: Arrange to have somebody call you fifteen minutes after the meeting starts, so that you have an excuse to leave.
The Toady
- Characteristics: Does everything possible to try to make the boss like him.
- Quote: "You really handled that well, big guy..."
- Plumage: Something that looks like it came from the boss's closet.
- Cultural Archetype: Toad
- Warning: Everything you say will be reported to the boss.
- Care and Feeding: Pretend to ask his advice and treat him like he's an actual human being. He may even help you manage the big guy.
The Naysayer
- Characteristics: Establishes his importance by saying "NO" to every good idea.
- Quote: "Every time we've tried something like that in the past, it's failed..."
- Plumage: Dark suit, bland tie.
- Cultural Archetype: Tom Coburn
- Warning: You can waste all kinds of time and effort trying to get to "YES."
- Care and Feeding: Always state things as alternatives so that by saying "NO" he is actually saying "YES" to what you actually want.
The Volcano
- Characteristics: Explodes whenever any of her decisions or actions are questioned.
- Quote: "!#%$#!!@$!..."
- Plumage: Asbestos.
- Cultural Archetype: Ursula
- Warning: If you react by keeping quiet, she'll just explode louder and longer.
- Care and Feeding: Without getting angry, raise your emotional intensity level so that she can hear your through her own mental noise. Then demand civil behavior. If you don't get it, leave.
The Weasel
- Characteristics: Constantly takes credit for other people's work.
- Quote: "We worked together as a team, right? You bounced the idea off me and I helped, right?"
- Plumage: Comes in all sizes and shapes.
- Cultural Archetype: Grima Wormtongue
- Warning: Will pretend to be your friend as long as you keep feeding him ideas.
- Care and Feeding: Build an audit trail for everything that you do; make sure to send emails to your boss confirming every step.
The Drama Queen
- Characteristics: Automatically turns absolutely everything into a major crisis.
- Quote: "If we don't take care of this right away, it will be a complete and utter disaster!!!"
- Plumage: Either very bright colors or all black.
- Cultural Archetype: Tosca
- Warning: She will make it impossible to get any productive work done.
- Care and Feeding: Find excuses to send her on business trips and useless meetings. If possible, get her on interdepartmental committees for projects that you want to fail.
Mr. Know-It-All
- Characteristic: Puts down everyone's ideas and promotes his own.
- Quote: "That's not the way to do it... let me show you how it is done"
- Plumage: Pocket protector
- Cultural Archetype: Tim Taylor
- Warning: Will take your good idea, butcher it, and use it to override your own.
- Care and Feeding: Present your idea so that it seems like it's something that he thought of on his own -- and told you about it.
- (Special thanks to Snukrd for this species!)
The Proud Parent- Characteristic: Talks endlessly about his family.
- Quote: "Let me show you the pictures of her latest little league game."
- Plumage: "World's Greatest Parent" coffee mug.
- Cultural Archetype: Gil Buckman
- Warning: May badmouth you behind your back if you complain about the boredom.
- Care and Feeding: Express polite interest, then change the subject. If the kids pop back up in the conversation, find an excuse to go somewhere else.
- (Special thanks to Josh Reeve for this species!)
The Busy Goldbricker- Characteristic: Spends far more time complaining about how busy they are than actually doing work.
- Quote: "I'm so overloaded, I don't have time to help with that."
- Plumage: Always carrying a heavy load of (useless) folders.
- Cultural Archetype: Wally
- Warning: Will visit your office regularly to "escape the stress" -- and waste your time with gossip.
- Care and Feeding: Avoid his office visits by saying "as long as you're here, you can help me with my project."
- (Special thanks to Skatem a comment inspiring this species!)