4 ways to ask for help (and get it)

I just had a baby in early October, which brings the total in my house to three children under the age of five. Managing the chaos is teaching me many useful skills, but one critical one is how to ask for help more effectively -- at work and at home. Here's what I've learned:

Be direct. Hinting does not work. It makes you mad that other people aren't reading your mind and annoys other people when they realize you expect mind-reading. If you need help, say so.

Be specific. Rather than "I need more help around here," try "Would you please take care of the dishes tonight? I'd like to return a phone call." Or "I'd appreciate if you'd take more of a day-to-day role in answering our client's questions. I'm afraid I won't be able to respond quickly enough."

Shut up and wait for an answer. No need to blabber on with apologies. Give the person a chance to say yes. If she says no, you can move on to plan B.

Put chits in the bank. The truth is, every person will need extra help at some point, either because life will throw you a curve ball (illness? a family emergency?) or because things will get really busy at work for reasons you can't anticipate. If someone else asks you for help, do what you can to accommodate the request. Chances are, it will pay off.