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What To Do 'After The Affair'

Two of every three Americans know someone going through the same healing process as the first family.

Cloistered on the resort island of Martha's Vineyard, President Clinton, his wife, Hillary, and their daughter, Chelsea, are trying to come to grips with Mr. Clinton's public admission Monday night that he had a sexual relationship with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Jan and Barry Fuson of Pasadena Calif., underwent the same process last summer, and say their marriage is even better for it.

When she first learned of her husband's extramarital affair, Jan told CBS "This Morning Co-anchor Jane Robelot she never thought of leaving him "because I had too many
years invested."

In addition, she wanted to salvage her 30-year marriage for the sake of her two children.

Asked what advice he would give to the first family, Barry said, "I think he has to be extremely considerate of his own honesty to his family and to himself and stop and decide. If he wants to repair the damage, he has to be painfully honest and step up and tell his family - in privacy and away from the public - and have integrity and be honest.

Dr. Janis Spring
"Keep no secrets from anybody."

Dr. Janis Spring, a clinical psychologist specializing in infidelity and the author of a book, After The Affair that the Fusons said helped them, had this advice for the Clintons:

  • The unfaithful partner has to experience compassion. He or she must feel the pain they have caused.
  • They've got to look deeply at themselves and their relationship to find out the root reasons for the infidelity.
  • The unfaithful partner has to be willing to earn back the trust of the hurt partner, be willing to make concrete gestures every day that makes the hurt partner feel safe and chosen.

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