Tongue-in-Cheek Hat in Ring

I have a dramatic announcement: I have decided to form my own exploratory committee.

I am doing this for two reasons. First, everyone else seems to be doing it and, second, when they do, people, for some reason, send them millions of dollars.

Well, I have thought about this and, any way you cut it, it sounds like a good deal. Like Mrs. Clinton, who is the latest to form an exploratory committee, I'm going to explore running for office, too. Maybe for president of Italy. I've never lived there, but I love the food.

I won't stop there, though. I'm going to do some regular exploring, like Admiral Byrd, who went to the South Pole.

Actually, I have no interest in the South Pole. I like sled dogs. But it's just too cold for me.

There has been one problem getting organized with this: With so many people forming exploratory committees these days, it's been hard finding people to be on mine. Every time I ask someone, they say, "I'm already exploring with someone else."

Finally, I've talked it over with my family, and we've decided to go ahead with it. We have also decided: However it comes out, we're going to keep the money. So be generous.

Thank you for your support, and have a nice day.