I'm thinking about Texas. The green, green grass of home. Courtesy of the magazine Texas Monthly, and with a tip of the Stetson to David Letterman, I'd like to pass along the top ten rejected state slogans for the Lone Star state.
10. If you come to our state, don't kill anybody.
9. Home of big hair.
8. We're a little sensitive about our size and funny shape, so you can keep your smart remarks to yourself.
7. Where you can just drive and drive and drive... and drive.
6. We could secede from the Union and be just fine.
5. Could, too.
4. Not exactly California yet.
3. Our governor can run for president better than your governor.
2. Does anybody remember why we're supposed to remember the Alamo?
1. We punched a steer, had a beer and it was off to Rio Grande.
Okay, I know some of those rejected Texas state slogans aren't funny. And I can't blame you for saying, "Some of them I just don't get." Never mind, not all Texans get all of them either.
My own personal favorite, not in the top ten, is: Land where the bluebonnets grow. Texas has done a lot of things wrong in recent years, but one of the things the state has does right is increase the number of wildflowers, especially bluebonnets. They're not in bloom just now; it's too hot.
Finally, a reminder that General Sherman once said, while serving in Texas during a summer in the 1800s: "If I owned Hell and Texas, I would live in Hell and rent out Texas."