Talking To Kids About Sept. 11

The Sept. 11 anniversary promises to evoke all kinds of memories, emotions and fears in Americans, particularly in the youngest ones.

Freddi Greenberg, editor-in-chief of Nick Jr. magazine, visits The Early Show to discuss what children really want to know and offer suggestions on how to share your own feelings without scaring or confusing your child. She will also provide a list of warning signs that your child may be struggling, and suggestions for handling this.

The children who are most vulnerable and will need the most attention during this time are, of course, those directly impacted by the events of Sept. 11 as well as those who have a history of loss or trauma, Greenberg says.

Children are normally fairly self-centered, concerned about their own world of friends and family. This means that if they are not directly affected, they don't spend much time thinking about an event that occurred miles away and months ago, she adds.

However, like it or not, your child will be exposed to the anniversary through the media, school activities and community events. Children also tend to pick up on the vibes of their parents and teachers, who are bound to be struggling some with the anniversary, notes Greenberg.

So here are her suggestions on how to bring up the subject with your child:

Under six: Only discuss Sept. 11 if your child brings it up first. "Listen to his concerns and give simple, honest answers. Don't give more detail than asked for. When children this age ask questions about Sept. 11, they are really asking about their personal safety. Reassure them that their immediate world of friends and family is safe and remind them of all the people working to keep things that way," says Greenberg.

Seven or older: Still take your cue from your child, answer the questions with the goal to reassure your child.

Greenberg says, "If you know that your child is sensitive, you might want to ask her some open-ended questions such as, 'Is there anything that you've seen on TV or at school that's bothering you?' Never put words such as, "you must be worried about ..." in her mouth. Sometimes when older kids do want to talk about their fears or questions, they don't know how to get started. Again, help them out with an open-ended question."

Greenberg has three general rules for parents to help children of any age through the next week.

• Limit Media Exposure: "Kids just don't need to see this. Chances are, they will be hearing about the event plenty of other places so when you can control exposure, do so. Young kids don't have a sense of time or anniversaries; if they see pictures on TV they may think the attack is happening again."
• Ask About School Events: "Many schools will commemorate 9/11 or use the events as a teaching tool. If your child's school does not send home information about the day's planned events, call the principal or teacher. You'll want to know how the subject was addressed at school so you can follow up at home."
• Control Your Reactions: "As said earlier, kids pick up on how parents and other important adults are feeling. Your emotions and attitude are sure to affect your child, so try and keep them under control. However, this does not mean lying about your feelings. Don't pretend you are not upset; just be sure to put a positive spin on things. Explain why you're feeling a certain way then end by saying, 'But I'm glad we're all here safe together,'"