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Survey Counters Stereotypes on Love

There are about 96.6 million singles in this country, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, and a new survey gives a surprising look at what single men and women are looking for when it comes to love.

"Early Show" Contributor and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein explained the study by popular dating website Match.com, which surveyed 5,200 singles on their ideas about love, marriage and family. Surprisingly, Hartstein said, many traditional beliefs about what men and women want were often flipped between the sexes in this study.

Hartstein explained, "The male mind -- what they found was that amongst the 21 to 24-year-olds and 50 and older, they have a greater desire to marry. So there's that age in the middle where women probably want to be married more, especially because of kids, because they have that. But men across the board want to have kids more than women do."

Wragge said, "... I think most people think, well, the women are the ones that really want the kids."

Hartstein replied, "Historically that's been true. What they actually found was that women, surprisingly want more personal space. They want to have their own interests and hobbies. And they want to have built-in girls' night out as often as they can get them."

So why have these ideas about marriage and family suddenly reversed?

"It is turning everything we've known on its ear," Hartstein said. "And I think a lot of it is that women are in a different position now than they were 30, 40, 50 years ago. They really don't have to be married to be happy. They don't have to worry about a man to provide for them. They can do a lot of that themselves."

Ideas about love-at-first sight also might not be what you'd think, according to Match.com's study.

"What they found was that 54 percent of men believe in love-at-first-sight," she said. "They believe that it can happen, whereas only 44 percent of women believe in love-at-first-sight."

But why do men and women think differently on this idea?

Hartstein said, "Maybe it's that men are more impulsive emotionally on that first meeting, whereas women are much more logical about where it's going to go."

As for hook-ups and one-night stands, Harstein pointed out the landscape has changed. She said the people surveyed said one can have a successful long-term relationship following one of these meetings.

She said, "They found that 35 percent of people have a one-night stand and it actually turns into a long-term relationship. ... It's very different than what we used to think about it. ... That actually did surprise me. Although I do know some people where that has been true."

With Valentine's Day around the corner, Hartstein shared some tips for developing relationships.

She advised, "The first thing is you want to give second chances. One of the other things the study said was about three-quarters of the people didn't like the person the first time they met them, but gave them a second chance. So you also want to pursue interests. Do things you like. Maybe you'll meet people at that cooking class. Maybe you'll meet them at the sports bar. Be open-minded, and take care of yourself. Be confident and you'll meet someone that's confident and recognizes your own confidence."