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Support For Gordon Brown Waning

Psst. Don't tell them I told you, there's a new plot to get rid of him. It's totally hush hush. More than my life's worth to reveal the names. Actually only a few key Government Ministers know the details, and they'll swear blind they didn't have a clue.

Which is pretty well what happened last week to the great British political coup that never was.

A couple of years ago, many people realized that Gordon Brown was a bumbling electoral liability when he took over from Tony Blair as our Prime Minister. But nobody did anything about it.

So last Thursday, up come the first big elections - to the European Parliament. Gordon's ruling Labor Party gets trashed. Worst results EVER.

But just when it came to giving our tedious Scottish Leader the heave-ho, those fearless party warriors couldn't bring themselves to pull the trigger. Half a dozen Ministers no one had ever heard of puffed up their pigeon chests and stomped out of his Government in a show of open defiance. The media went crazy.

That was meant to be followed by mass uprising and revolutionary triumph. Except, of course, it didn't happen. Gordon Brown simply ignored them. He appointed some new Ministers no one will ever hear of and announced he was staying put. The blood-curdling anger of the rebels couldn't even curdle a glass of milk.

Instead they all turned into Gordon Brown loyalists and boasted he was the best thing since sliced bread -- or, at any rate, the least worst thing.

You see, here in Britain, we don't really do revolutions. We couldn't assemble a coup d'etat if IKEA provided instructions (A: take a political leader. B: get a firing squad. C: you get the picture). For centuries we've botched it. One big civil war, way back when, we got rid of King Charles I. And we've been regretting it ever since.

If a Brit is at death's door and the doctor asks how he's feeling -- it's absolutely fine, never better, Doc. We prefer to say the opposite. We don't complain about inedible meals in second rate restaurants. We tolerate tyrants, fools and incompetent political leaders too. So, good luck Gordon, we're right behind you.
By Ed Boyle