Send It To Andy!
This commentary was first published on April 26, 2009.
The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent Andy Rooney.
When I was about 12 years old, I remember at Christmas one year being ashamed of how much I liked it because of all the presents I got. It's a pretty complicated thought for a 12 year old kid but that's what I had.
I've always liked presents though. People send me a lot of things and I wish they wouldn't but I can't help liking them anyway.
I mean look at this - just a few of the things that have come in recently: this is a bottle of some kind of sauce. Now it's probably very good and from some one who likes me but it could be bad and from someone who hates me too, so I don't dare eat it.
Someone sent me this sports whistle. Why would anyone send me a whistle? The package says it's made of solid brass. It's triple plated and it has an extra sharp tone. Well good for it. But I certainly wouldn't want a whistle that was only double plated and made of brass that wasn't solid.
This goes under a door to keep the draft out. Someone's idea of what John McCain and Barack Obama look like. Not my idea of what either of them look like but what do I know?
"The American Government In Action" - this is a game. I never cared much for games. There's enough to play with in real life.
"The Baseball Dictionary." This book has a lot more than I want to know about baseball. I'm a football fan. Baseball is too caught up with numbers for me.
This is a pair of socks; I don't know who they're for. They come up over my knees.
I don't know what these two bags are for - why would I want two of them anyway?
This is called Almond Orange Honey. Seems like a good idea and the bees are certainly done a good job, but I never liked honey.
I said I liked fudge and that I never got any good fudge anymore - I haven't had any good fudge in years - so a lot of people sent me good fudge. I guess it's good. I haven't eaten all if it yet.
I said I shine my own shoes. The letter that came with this stuff says it brings leather back to life. It's nice to think about bringing leather back to life isn't it? I'll see if this brings my shoes back to life. I just hope my shoes don't eat my fudge.
Written by Andy Rooney