Paula Abdul Spills Her Heart
To some, Paula Abdul may look like a celebrity who has it all. She's made her mark in music, film and television. But fame and fortune have left one big void in her life. She has not found her Mr. Right.
Abdul visited relationship expert Dr. Phil McGraw for some one-on-one advice. She was featured in last night's primetime special, "Love Smart," based on Dr. Phil's best-selling book of the same name.
Dr. Phil created a unique dating experiment just for her, and
"I actually learned quite a lot," she told co-anchor Julie Chen. "I learned a lot about what it is I am actually looking for and Dr. Phil helped me figure out what my deal-breaker and bottom line really is."
Abdul also said it is sometimes difficult for men to grasp the difference between the MTV superstar and the real woman, outside of the spotlight.
Abdul: When you step off the stage or when you are done performing or you are done with your job, this is the real Paula.And Dr. Phil says that Abdul's high drama lifestyle should not be seen as a problem, simply as a facet of her personality.Dr. Phil: I am just so proud of her delineation of those things in her mind and in the way she does relationships. Paula lives with passion. She doesn't do anything just kind of halfway. She really is intense and passionate. When she gets emotional, that's really intense as well. She says, "I've got to have somebody that can deal with the drama."
Dr. Phil: If your emotionality, your passion and intensity is not for somebody, keep on walking. It's not a problem. You live passionately, you live energetically, and that's OK and if that bothers somebody then they are not for you.On the CBS special, Dr. Phil presented Abdul with a pool of eligible bachelors to choose from, and then observed how she behaved.
Dr. Phil: First thing she did right was walk in the room, looking like a million bucks because men fall in love with their eyes. They go, "Oh, my god, here's a winner. What do I need to do here?" Then she asks the questions and these guys, we did what we call infrared dating, where she started asking penetrating questions up front. The guys loved it. One of your dates said, "I've learned more about you and me in less time than I would if I'd dated somebody for six months, which is great."Chen asked Dr. Phil how much progress Abdul made through their work together.
Dr. Phil: She had the courage to get real and honest and forget about the camera. I think she made quantum leaps and a lot of it is in deciding, "I'm OK. I just have to find somebody that's OK with me being OK."As for her Valentine's Day plans, Abdul told Chen she'll be on an airplane but doesn't really mind.Abdul: I'm surprised at myself, too. I'm surprised at the willingness to — because I really think that I may even have helped some women out in not accepting anything short of what they deserve.
"The thing that's great is that magical things have been happening and getting out there and dating and being really happy with the ability to just say, 'This is who I am,' " she said.