"Gigli," the new Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez star vehicle, opened in theaters nationwide Friday to a resounding chorus of Bronx cheers from the movie critics.
Here's a sampling of opinion from some of the nation's newspapers:
Here's what happens: Affleck plays an incompetent mob thug named Larry Gigli. (That's pronounced JEE-lee, which rhymes with really, a running joke that isn't particularly funny the first time.)
Gigli is asked to kidnap Brian (Justin Bartha), the mentally disabled younger brother of a federal prosecutor who's going after a New York mobster (Al Pacino).
His boss, however, thinks he's incapable of handling the assignment alone and sends in Ricki (Lopez), another mob contractor who also happens to be a lesbian, to help Affleck.
But J.Lo doesn't stay lesbian for long. The consensus choice for worst moment of the movie comes when Lopez beckons Affleck into foreplay by lying in bed and purring, "It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."
The bad publicity surrounding the movie has already prompted Affleck and Lopez to swear that they will never work with one another again.