Letters, Lots and Lots of Letters

When there's a lot of mail, it's hard to read all of it and still get anything else done.

Some letters, I can tell right away, I don't have to read. If a letter is addressed to ANDREW ROONEY, 60 MINUTES, NBC, I know I won't read it. It's probably for Tom Brokaw.

If I open a letter and there's writing scribbled along the side of it like this, I don't read that.

I know it isn't nice but I skip reading a letter that comes on stationery that has flowers on it.

Some of the handwriting is so bad, I don't bother with those.

This is from a woman who corrects that. She thanks me for "the marvelous piece on handwriting in your book Common Nonsense." She says, "I earn much of my daily bread working for hospitals that employee me to teach their doctors how to write legibly..."

I never dare skip a letter from a lawyer.

I made some remarks about the idiocy of the awards in some personal injury lawsuits like the woman who was awarded $28 billion.

Jan Peterson says "Hogwash! The right to settle our disputes by jury trail is the American way..."

C. Jay Vreeland a lawyer from Del Mar, Calif., wrote "Love your show, hated you Sunday night..."

I mentioned the woman who sued McDonalds because she spilled hot coffee in her lap.

John Gallagher of Gallagher, Schoenfeld, Surkin and Chupein writes: "I always knew you were a bilious old crank..." That's not nice, John.

Here's one about that case from Philip Corboy of Corboy and Demetrio in Chicago. "Mr Rooney, I genuinely hope that your wife, daughter or granddaughter is never burned in the genital area by a hot cup of coffee..."

There's a huge fight now between the Trial Lawyers Association, who do the suing and big corporations which get sued. Both these groups are objectionable.

This is from Joanne Doroshow at The Center for Justice and Democracy, whatever that is. She complains, but it's a good letter though. "Your commentary did a disservice to the debates over the importance of the civil justice system."

Well, maybe it did and maybe it didn't, but next time that woman buys takeout coffee at McDonalds, I'll bet she'll have it with milk.

One last letter from Darren Dorsey in Marrero, La., on some remark I made about women.

"I disagree with the notion that war is synonymous with men and not women. St. Joan of Arc was a great French warrior..."

Something I learned from my friend Jacques Barzun: "Joan of Arc" is a misnomer. There is no place called "Arc" and Joan wasn't from there. Her name was Jean Darc, D-A-R-C. Years ago, someone put an apostrophe in there and made her "Joan of Arc."

I think I'm getting a better class of letters since the price of stamps went up to $0.37.

Written By ANDY ROONEY