In Praise Of The Older Woman

The high-profile relationship between 26-year-old Ashton Kutcher and 42-year-old Demi Moore may have some people wondering: What's the appeal?

Ken Beckinger, CEO of Hurrydate.com, explains, "I guess the younger male clients are really looking for people to go out with, looking for women to socialize with. Whereas, on the other side, the older male clients are actually looking for a life partner or someone to get married."

While dating a younger woman may appeal to most men, the siren call of the older woman is just too much for some men to resist. Business owner Russell Kollins, 23, prefers dating older women, some more than 10 years his senior.

"What I like about older women is the fact that they're a little more secure about themselves, and they know what they want out of a relationship," Kollins says. "They know what they like in a man."

And while Kollins has a strong attraction to older women, he realizes his desire for a family could land him in the arms of a younger woman.

"I don't like to think about that, but I guess I'm going to have to," he says. "Or, at least hoping to find someone I can be compatible with that's my age."

Confidence, knowing what women want out of life, and ability to have fun and relax are some of the reasons men ages 25 to 50 offered to More magazine as their reasons for preferring dating older women, says Peggy Northrop, the magazine's editor-in-chief.

She visited The Early Show to share the highlights from the article in the February issue, "What Men Really Think."

"Confidence was the big difference," says Northrop, "And it wasn't just the way the older women carried themselves or their life experiences. It was also sexual confidence."

Men surveyed agreed sex gets better with age. Northrop explains, "One man even had a priceless quote: 'Having sex with a younger women is like putting together a stationary bike, in terms of how much you have to do for the payoff.' "

It seems the Hollywood hype around older women/younger men couples helped make it OK for men to be with older women.

Northrop says, "Just as older women are seen as more sexy when they're with younger men, the younger men seem somehow more substantial and mature. Several also commented that they felt younger women they dated were always 'looking out for a better deal.' And they liked that older women were more forthright from the beginning about what they wanted and expected from a relationship."

As far as looks were concerned, men, specifically, pointed out younger women looked, in a way, "unformed." And at the same time, women who tried to look too much younger were, as one man described, "tragic."

Northrop tells one man said he is no longer looking for a woman with a perfect face, or perfect weight or perfect hair. "Were they being honest? Who knows? But it was very nice to hear," Northrop exclaims.

So what do men think about women making more money in the relationship? Northrop found since younger men had grown up with women who were their equals, they were most comfortable with a financial discrepancy in a relationship. Even older men accepted this as the new reality in a lot of relationships, says Northrop.

But she notes several of the men said that women were conflicted on this issue. She says, "They had girlfriends or wives who had careers and made their own money, but still had expectations that a guy would eventually swoop in to take care of them."