Importance Of Marital Sex

Many couples feel that what happens in the bedroom should stay behind closed doors.

But psychologist Kevin Leman brings the topic of sex and marriage out into the open in his new book, "Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage."

Leman visited The Saturday Early Show to discuss his book and address the problem of couples who are too tired or stressed for a love life.

Leman has written 25 other books, and travels the country speaking and counseling.

He writes in his new book that intimacy in marriage will, of course, be one of the most important part of a relationship. But his hope is that "Sheet Music" will expand and challenge a couple's notion about sex.

(To read an excerpt from the book, click here.)

Leman says that his book takes a look at why married couples should have sex and how to do it better.

He says a good sex life colors a marriage from top to bottom and is the most powerful "marital" glue a couple can have. He writes in his book:

"A sexually fulfilled man will normally be a better father and a better employee. A sexually fulfilled woman will have less stress and more joy in her life."

Leman says he is blunt with premarital couples and tells them if they aren't willing to commit themselves to having sex with their partner at least two or three times a week for the rest of their lives, then don't get married. Leman writes to get married is to commit to a regular time of sexual intimacy.

The author says he has worked with a number of couples who have less sex because the husband is tired, preoccupied or a little depressed. So, it may not only be the woman who is disinterested in sex.

He also writes that men must realize women don't just view sex as starting and ending in the bedroom. The stability of the relationship, the effort exerted for the relationship and the level of emotional closeness all directly affect a wife's desire and enjoyment of sexual relations.

And, Leman writes, a wife must realize sex is a basic need for men. He says when this area of life is well taken care of, a man will feel immense appreciation and act accordingly.

Leman's book has tips and ideas for putting the spark back into a flagging love life. His suggestions range from cutting back busy schedules and spending more time at home, to bubble baths and naked foosball. But, he says, the most important solution to a better sex life is understanding what each partner needs from a marriage so you can better love that person. Once a person feels loved and cared for, Leman says, a fulfilling sex life will naturally follow.

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