How to make ice cream: A lesson from Andy Rooney

The following is commentary written by Andy Rooney for a 60 Minutes segment which aired on July 4, 1982.

I'm one of the most experienced ice cream eaters in the world today. I also know how to make it. Because I feel I owe you something, tonight I'm going to show you how to make ice cream. You need a freezer, and there are several kinds. You can get one of the old-fashioned ones you crank by hand; you can get one like this, with a motor on top; or you can get one like this, with a motor on the bottom. 

Then you put the dasher in, put the top on, put the whole thing in here, put the top strap on to keep the whole thing tight. If you're a beginner, don't try to make chocolate. Chocolate's the hardest. Now, you need a bag, or a cake of ice, because what you have in the refrigerator probably isn't enough. So you start putting the ice around the can in here, and then you're going to need a bag of rock salt. That's the stuff they put on the roads in the winter to make your car rot out underneath. You put in a layer of ice and a layer of rock salt. Takes a lot of rock salt. It takes maybe twenty percent as much rock salt as ice. But keep putting the ice and the rock salt in till this thing is full. Oh, what I mess I'm going to make of this desk. But anyway. But keep pushing it down, so it's packed in, and the salt is mixed up with the ice. Now there it is. Takes about twenty minutes. Plug it in, and round and round she goes. So. That's about it; looks about done. Take the top off, take the top off, pull the dasher out; just make sure what you've done.

Not bad, I wish you could join me here. This is a tough job I got.