Enough To Drive One To Rage

<B>Andy Rooney</B> Blows His Own Horn

A weekly commentary by CBS News Correspondent Andy Rooney. It was first broadcast on Nov. 30, 2003.
I keep reading stories about "road rage" – drivers who get mad at other drivers. This past summer, I did some driving and suffered a lot of road rage myself.

"Suffer" may not be the right word because I didn't suffer. I enjoyed getting mad. There are half a dozen things other drivers do that enrage me.

For instance, I'm driving along at a reasonable speed – I leave a decent distance between me and the car in front of me – and some idiot cuts in between us. I have to drop back.

Then, there's always an exit with a long line of cars. Most people get in line and wait their turn, but there's always someone who cruises up on the outside and gets in ahead of everyone.

Next to steering, nothing is easier than signaling your intention to turn. About half the drivers don't bother; even worse are the ones who start to turn and then put on their turn signal.

I dislike slow drivers. They're proud of themselves, but as many accidents are caused by drivers who go too slow as by those who go too fast.

Accidents are the biggest cause of traffic jams, but the emergency vehicles are more in the way than the cars that were in the accident.

And then, I know it may be for a good cause, but I'm never happy when the fire department in a small town sets up a road block and comes at you with a coffee can.

The biggest traffic blockers on city streets are trucks delivering soft drinks. One Coca-Cola truck can take up two lanes of traffic and make 175 people late for work, not that Pepsi trucks are any better. All truck deliveries ought to be made before 7 a.m.

Truck drivers vary from being the best on the road to the worst. A lot of cowboys loom large in your rear view mirror.

I don't know what's wrong with people who park at the mall. The lines are clearly marked. It isn't that hard to aim a car but a lot of drivers have bad aim.

The temporary electric signs that the construction people put up aren't much help. And they aren't clear. How do I form two lines in one car?

Unlike so many others, I am a kind, considerate, careful driver. I never go too fast or too slow. I don't cut in. I park where I should, and I seldom blow my own horn.

Written By Andy Rooney