Duke Player's Family Speaks Out

In an exclusive interview with CBS News correspondent Trish Regan, the Seligmann family spoke about the emotional difficulties they've faced since their son was indicted for rape in the Duke lacrosse case. Regan met the entire Seligmann family, including Reade, and spent five hours with the parents. She has the inside look at the impact the case has had on one family.

"It was Reade," she said, " 'Mom, promise me you'll be strong.' " She tried to brace herself, but couldn't believe the next words. "He said, 'Mom, she picked me.' "

And with that, her family's life was thrown into emotional turmoil.

With three other children to take care of, Kathy decided not to go to Durham, N.C., prior to the indictments. After all, she said, Reade hadn't stayed long at the party and so there was no reason to think he would be named. Phil Seligmann, Reade's father, made the drive to Durham as a precaution because the lawyers recommended every player have a family member there, just in case.

When she thinks back to that phone call, Kathy said Reade wasn't upset for himself. "He was so concerned about how I was doing. I mean, this kid's life was just ripped out of his hands and all he could worry about was whether I was OK."

His father says Reade was equally strong for him. When Phil got the news, he was with his son. "I went down on the floor. Just knocked off my feet. He picked me up and said, 'Everything is going to be all right.' "

The next few days were a nightmare for Kathy. Phil told her she needed to make sure she and the kids were out of the house by the time the news broke the next morning.

"We knew," Phil said, "the media would be everywhere."

Kathy says she spent 12 grueling hours keeping the news secret because the indictment was sealed. That night, she went home and packed. Before dawn the following morning, she, her twins, and her 14-year-old son drove to a nearby diner where they waited until the news broke. It was her birthday.

When the indictments became public, Kathy went to the house of a friend — a mother of another Duke Lacrosse player who had not been indicted. "I told her, 'I don't know where to go or who to turn to.' "

Every day since then has been a struggle.

"It's been hard on my other boys," she said. "I found my youngest son watching TV and crying hysterically the day they brought Reade in, in handcuffs. He looked at me and cried, 'Mom, why are they doing this?' To see this happen to your oldest son, and to see your youngest son's reaction, is just heart breaking."

Reade, his parents say, has always been one his younger brothers looked up to the most: as a star athlete and excellent student, he seemed to have it all.

His mother told a story of how, as a little league football player in grade school, his coach wanted him to pull a 'dirty move' on the other team: "I remember looking at him on the field and he was shaking his head 'No' at the coach, and the coach was yelling at him. After the game, I told him, 'Don't you ever disobey a coach, ever!' and he looked at me and said, 'Mom, if you knew what he was asking me to do, you wouldn't say that.' That's the kind of person he's always been. ... Since he was small he would stick up for other kids that were getting picked on."

Reade's parents invited me to their home in Essex Fells, N.J., to meet them and their four boys, including Reade. We agreed to talk about how this case has affected their family and while the entire conversation was on-record, they requested there not be any cameras present.

They live in an upscale neighborhood in a large brick lived-in (they have four boys) home. Kathy, a stay-at-home mom, and Phil, an investor, both grew up in New Jersey. They say they've had their share of struggles — both lost a parent at an early age.
The Seligmanns told me they've been through some tough times recently including failed businesses and a break-in and robbery. They say their lifestyle is the result of hard work.

"Everything we have," Kathy said, "goes to our kids." When it came time to post the $400,000 bond for Reade, Phil had to ask a friend for help. "We just don't have that kind of cash," he said.

The Seligmanns showed me four scrapbooks with Reade's newspaper clippings. They knew early on that he would be an excellent athlete. "But it was more than that," his mother says, "he was the hardest working kid I've ever seen. He always pushed himself." They say Reade had his pick of colleges — for football or lacrosse. "But," Kathy says, "he chose Duke."

Many have suggested District Attorney Mike Nifong's case is weak. Bennett Gershman, a former New York City prosecutor, now a law professor at Pace University tells CBS News, "there's absence of DNA evidence, there's evidence that she was involved with other people over the weekend, some of the defendants apparently have alibis, she may have been intoxicated, I think she made some errors in identification initially, and some of her statements have been contradicted. ... It just strikes me that if all you have is her credibility, I don't know that you can rest the prosecution on that."

But, as CBS News legal analyst Andrew Cohen pointed out, making predictions about this case now is like "trying to gauge the results of a baseball game before the first inning is even played."

Cohen says it's important to give the prosecutor "the benefit of the doubt and let him present his case and allow him to show his witnesses and evidence."

The case may not go to trial until next spring. In the meantime, Reade's parents are coping with the stress of knowing that their oldest son's life is in limbo.

Phil Seligmann said waking up in the morning and seeing his son's picture on the cover of "USA Today" accused of raping a black exotic dancer was one of the worst things he could imagine. He says the racial tensions that erupted as a result of this case have made things even more difficult for him. Phil was raised by a black woman after his mother died when he was a small child. He said: "That's one reason these accusations of prejudice are so hurtful."

Kathy said she goes through phases when she simply can't watch the media coverage.

"There were days, when I couldn't get out of bed. You would wonder, 'Did I dream that or did this really happen?'" she said. "You just can't imagine what it's like to see someone do this to your child."

Regardless, she said she doesn't harbor any ill will toward the woman accusing her son of rape. "I don't hate her. I think ... she panicked and made up this story. I pray that she didn't mean for this to happen."

He will not get credit for any of his spring semester classes unless the charges are dropped or he is declared not guilty. His plan for the fall is to take classes at a nearby university and continue working out because, his parents say, he's hopeful he'll have the opportunity to play lacrosse again soon. He told me he wants to be a lawyer and that this experience has convinced him that law is a field where he can make a difference.

"People keep saying, 'these kids' lives are over, their reputations are ruined,' " his mother said. "I tell Reade, 'There's only one person that can take your reputation from you, and that's you.' "

Reade is optimistic about the future. His mother says he tells her: "You can't change the truth. This didn't happen. I believe in the system and the truth will win."

But she says her son may have more faith in the system than she does.

"He's a 20-year-old man who believes in the truth and I say, 'God, please don't let the truth let him down.' "