Here's a scenario to ponder: You're riding a motorcycle. You're carrying a bag full of loaded weapons. You're under the influence of bipolar disorder medication. You get arrested.
Now it's two years later. How in the world do you explain this conviction on a job application?
If you're NBA free agent Delonte West, you do it with one word: "Misunderstanding."
Give West credit. During the NBA lockout, he's spurned playing ball in China or Turkey and decided to seek employment in the good old USA - considering everything from working at Home Depot to selling knives. Finally, this week, he started a gig at a furniture store - thanks, in part, to his creative answers on the job application.
On the Regency Furniture Showrooms questionnaire, West writes that he is ready to start work "yesterday" and that he found out about the company through "word of mouth."
When asked if he's ever been convicted of a crime, West checks yes. When asked to "describe in full," the player doesn't exactly oblige with "full" details. Apparently Regency was satisfied with his "misunderstanding" explanation because he got the job the next day.
West's pithy yet creative response is surpassed in hilarity only by Shaquille O'Neal's 2004 job application for the Miami Beach police force. (When told to list any special skills or equipment expertise, Shaq simply wrote: "Laptop computer, binnochulars [sic], master of surveillance." When asked to give the definition of deadly force, Shaq offered this enigmatic answer: "Red, yellow, green.")
Many fans are dreading the prospect of losing the 2011 season. But that could also mean finding more job application gems like these.