Dealing With Different Parenting Styles

As best friends, Sarah Hofschire and Kim Comatas spend every day together. Their families share dinners, vacations and holidays, even though Hofschire and Comatas have very different parenting styles.

It's a very common problem in extended families or between friends: figuring out how to blend contrasting parenting styles.

The Early Show contributor psychologist Robin Goodman said it is important for parents to not be critical of other parents or act like know-it-alls.

"One thing you can do is take it on you, make it on you and your child: 'I wish I could be as laid back as you but I'm not. My child feels so much calmer when he comes home and it's a structured activity,' " she said. "Sometimes you have to do the structuring. Find a neutral parent or go to a place where there's more physical space or outside rules you have to follow. Sometimes take baby steps in terms of managing the relationship."

Hofschire and Comatas have had to learn to balance their different parenting techniques. Hofschire is strict, meticulous and obsessed with being organized.

"I expect my girls to follow the rules," Hofschire told The Early Show consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen.

Comatas' house is a different story.

"I'm more laid back. I let the kids free play," she said.

There's jumping on the furniture and her kids have scribbled on the walls and carpet. Comatas said Hofschire's house would never be allowed to look like hers.

"Oh, god, no," Comatas said. "I think it stresses her out a little bit."

"Sometimes, the kids, when we are eating there, it's like a circus," Hofschire said. "Kids are getting up, they are getting down, they are dropping food on the floor. Sometimes they get to watch things that I wouldn't let my kids watch. They stay up too late and they are grumpy the next day, and that creates problems for me."

But Goodman said that it is helpful for children to be exposed to different ways of doing things.

"Parents still have the most influence over their children and they can always explain to their kids — in our house we follow our rules, but you have to learn to get along in different places in the world," she said.

On the other hand, Comatas tells her friend to relax a little bit.

Hofschire and Comatas may be like night and day, but they respect each other's rules and having an open line of communication — even if that means giving a critique or two.

"I don't take it personally. I think, 'This is my house, these are my values, my kids would never do it at her house,' and I think the ultimate goal is to have safe and happy kids," Comatas said. "And if how you get there is different, that's OK."