Dating During The Downturn

It's always been tough out there, but has the downturn priced the fun out of dating and changed the way couples talk about money?

Early Show co-anchor Maggie Rodriguez asked around, and found out love in the time of recession isn't everybody's idea of a walk in the park.

"Prior to the recession you might talk about it maybe if you get engaged," said Julia, founder of nonsociety.com.

"We got married in October of '06 when the economy was very different. So that conversation probably would have had to be very different in 2008," said Greg, an actor, who likes to go out on "dates" with his wife of two years.

"I mean, is it polite now to talk about your credit scores? I think so but ... yeah I guess, when I was in high school ... What's yours? ... Mine's two, " said Dorothy and Dan, co-authors of "Dating Makes You Want to Die".

"Right now my boyfriend is in between jobs. It's a little tense. We're very open but there are some areas we don't have fun talking about," said Marlie Jane, a designer.

"I have to say I think my dating life has improved given the recession. So instead of going to a really expensive meal, I went on a date last night to Central Park at 3 a.m.," said Julia.

"You date because it's exciting and fun and because you get to go experience new places and eat at new restaurants and then now all it seems like all my boyfriend and I are doing is changing into sweats when we get home and watching reruns of House," said Dorothy.

"I think that this is a time you really can see if people are ambitious if they are resilient and I think these are qualities that are much more important than whether a person has money," said Gabriella, filmmaker and founder of recessioned.com.

Brent Kessel, author of "It's Not About The Money: A Financial Game Plan for Staying Safe, Sane, and Calm in Any Economy" and Dr. Christine B. Whelan, author of "Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to True Love," joined Rodriguez to discuss relationships during the economic downturn.

According to Whelan, the money conversation shouldn't come up on the first date.

"It's a time to get to know somebody," she explained. "You want to get to know somebody off paper, not just comparing resumes and credit scores but really getting to know their personality. Of course, if you've just been laid off this is going to be topic 'A.' So you've really got to tread carefully in those early interactions."

"I've had this conversation with clients in their first few months of dating where my client is wealthy, let's say, and the person she's dating is not. And I've had it with people who have been married for 25 years," Kessel said.

Kessel stressed two elements to the conversation, which he considers important.

"The first is to recount an emotionally charged experience you had with money that led to the way you handle money today," he said. "And the second is to talk about the practicalities, sharing credit scores, pay stubs, tax returns, investment statements, to make sure that you get everything out in the open and lay a good foundation for your future."

Rodriguez pointed out that it's not necessarily how much money you have, but how you handle the money that you do have.

"And your ideas about ambition, about perseverance, about drive -- it's these kind of personality traits that are going to really keep a person going forward when times get a little bit better," Whelan added. "It's not just about how much money you have now. It's about what your goals are for the future. And since dating is a long-term trial kind of run to see whether you're going to have a relationship with someone, you want to make sure that this is a good person to invest in the future."

"Anything you should do now that we're in a recession that maybe you wouldn't have done before when it comes to dating?" Rodriguez asked.

"Well, the key thing in a recession is when people get stressed and anxious about money, they tend to stick to their old tried and true habits, like intensely, so if I am into retail therapy, I am probably going to do even more of that," Kessel said. "If I am an investor, who jumps in and out of the market and is constantly changing things, I am going to be doing more of that now. So, people's money types really come out in a big way in a recession."

Kessel distinguishes four money types/behaviors: