Andy Rooney: What's In Your Closet?

I'm upset with myself tonight because a lot of the things I bought several years ago that plug in or run on batteries are obsolete now and I can't get myself to throw them away.

Just for example, in the past ten years I bet I've bought at least eight electric razors. Of the eight, I only use one now. The others don't work but I can't bring myself to throw them away.

About 40 years ago I bought a 16 mm camera called a "Filmo." I took pictures of the family and even got a couple of pictures on television with it. It's been in the back of a closet ever since. It's still perfectly good but not many people takes pictures with film now. I'll never use that camera again but I'll never throw it away either. Where do you throw a camera anyway?

In everyone's house there's stuff that will never be used again. I happen to know there's a Singer sewing machine, two Hoover vacuum cleaners, a Mixmaster, an electric typewriter, two slide projectors and a black and white television set in the basement of our house that ought to go to the dump but they don't go because I think they're too good for the dump.

Even dumps are obsolete now, of course. Now they're called recycle centers.

I have four computers here in my office. Three of them are useless and one is broken. They were invented about 20 minutes ago but they're obsolete already. There they sit, taking up space. They'll be there tomorrow and a year from tomorrow. I'll never use one of them again but I'll never throw one out, either.

I'm thinking of starting the new year by doing something I've never done before - cleaning out my office here and at home. I'll just move all the stuff I have in the closets, down into the basement with the rest of the junk I put down there.

The basement may be full but my closets will be empty and ready for the new junk.

Written by Andy Rooney