This segment was first broadcast on May 11, 2008.
The following is a weekly 60 Minutes commentary by CBS News correspondent.
A lot of friendly people send me things. It's nice of them I guess, but most of it is junk that I don't want. I have my own junk I'd like to send to them.
A fan went to the trouble of getting my picture on a box of Wheaties. Isn't that just what everyone has always wanted? Their picture on a box of Wheaties? To tell you the truth, I prefer Corn Flakes or Shredded Wheat to Wheaties anyway, without my picture on the box.
There's a model of a SunBeam Tiger someone sent me because they know I have a real one. I've had it since 1966.
I did something about umbrellas a while back and I got a lot of special umbrellas in the mail. Umbrellas are fun. It's a good feeling to think they're keeping you dry - even though they aren't really very good when it rains.
A man named Richard Kostura doesn't like the way people tell time and he's built his own clock. This may be accurate but I'd I've a hard time strapping Mr. Kostura's clock to my wrist. I don't want to know what time it is that bad anyway.
I mentioned a restaurant in Miami called "Joe's Stone Crab" quite a while ago and they sent me two $100 meal tickets. I wonder if these are still good. I don't like Miami enough to fly down there to get two free dinners and it would be just my luck to get there and find that Joe's was out of stone crabs that night.
Here's something I really like: the American flag drawn by the artist Jasper Johns. The American flag shouldn't be used as decoration, but this is a work of art. I don't know what there is about it that makes it a real work of art but that's why Jasper Johns is an artist and I'm not. The flag was sent to me by Bruce Mlynski and he writes apologizing for not writing sooner and he suggests we have lunch sometime. Oh that's okay Bruce. I haven't spent a lot of time waiting for your letter. And by the way, I charge $47.50 to have lunch with anyone I never heard of.
Somebody sent me a book called "Twenty Things You Didn't Know About Everything." And there's another good book sent to me by my friend Joe Persico about Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
So keep the stuff coming. I wouldn't know what to talk about without it.
Written By Andy Rooney